Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Tuesday Twitters

All of a sudden, Tuesdays come really, really fast…how do people do this everyday?

I hammered nails into my kitchen wall in order to hang pots from them because I have no room left in my cabinets. Hubby said I didn’t hit any studs. Well, if a pan falls off the wall it sure will! (rar!)

I have been working out for a month now and my body is like, “psh, so???”

My friend told me that she tried to shred meat in her salad shooter, and I laughed so hard I fell over, and knew I just HAD to add it in my blog (thank you, Robin!)

You all need to enter my giveaway…what are you waiting for? An invitation?

Bob Ross was on PBS. I started to tell my kids how much I liked his show, and then I fell asleep.

I got MY Mother’s Day gifts out ON TIME and they are COOL and SAPPY and I will SO win brownie points…how about you? Eh?

Remember when I said I liked Joan Rivers? Well, I recant. I mean, I don’t dislike her, she just scares me. A lot.

I had a dream that included EVERY show I watched in one night. It included The Office (I was working there), Dancing with the Stars (Josh and I were stuck in a perpetual polka, which is strange by itself), the actual office I worked at years ago (ok, so not a show, but I was eating cake…?), Survivor (snakes were voting me out of The Office), and Hell’s Kitchen (I couldn’t get the John Dory, with egg, made right for the life of me!). It ended with Jim Halpert sitting next to me for lunch and me thinking, “what is he doing? Pam is gonna be SO mad!"

My daughter was upset and wrote a sign and stuck it on her door, it says, "kepA ote" which I think means, "keep out". So cute...

Man, if you’re wanting to violently beat your head against the wall because your kids aren’t listening to you and they are driving you to mental instability, read this post by my friend over at Sounds Like Tomatoes…you’ll feel much better, even if you are still ready to be committed.

And what the hey ya'all? Have you seen this lunacy? I mean, seriously? Special K with CHOCOLATE CHUNKS? Isn't this THE cereal, of all cereals, toted as THE cereal to go to when you need to fit into that little black dress by like, yesterday?! Now they're putting CHOCOLATE in it? I don't know whether to kiss them or slap them! I mean, seriously, which product rep thought this up, and how did they convince Kellogg's that this was a great idea? It's called, "Chocolate Delight". What's so light about it, huh? It's cereal for adults who want to be healthy and lose weight, WITH FRIGGIN CHUNKS OF CHOCOLATE, THE STUFF I AM TRYING TO STAY AWAY FROM!! What's next? Lard in your Quaker Oats? Corn Syrup in your Crystal Light? Will whipping cream be the new yogurt? SERIOUSLY PEOPLE??!!!

Suddenly my hubby wants to play pool all the time. Why, you ask? Oh...well, you must have missed that post…


This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

I remember when Isabel got her panties in a twist about something and held a little protest with a sign that she had made and everything. Was quite amusing.

Joan Rivers really bothers me. A lot. Ugh. *shudders*

I gave my mother her Mother's Day gift when she came out to visit me last month, so I am WAY ahead this year! (I am really bad at mailing things out on time.)

The Retired One said...

Oh yeah. It's ME. Here we go:

1. Other people only get Tuesdays once a week, not every day. Maybe that is why you are having trouble. (heehee)

2. Throw away your pots and pans, for cripes sake.
You have a microwave. What ARE pots and pans, anyway? Quit hammering nails into your cupboards. Others may see the horror that you store inside them through the holes. Instead of waiting for the pots and pans to fall off and hit your stud, just use them to do it, it is quicker. Don't, Don't Don't stop....

4. Your body is holding you hostage. Negotiate with abusive tactics such as alcohol (lots of it). Show it who is boss!

5. So THAT is how you make pulled pork. For God's Sake, I should have tried that a long time ago. But the real question is: did she get two for the price of one, plus shipping and handling off an infomercial???

6. I would do the giveaway things, but I don't do Twitter. Never have joined. If I did, my husband would NEVER see me between blogging and Facebook, etc. So any giveaway that says you gotta go on Twitter? Nope. Sorry.

7. Who is Bob Ross? Betsy's brother?

8. So what did you get? I am anxious to hear. You deserve whatever they got you. Seriously.
My kids haven't come through yet, but they are always late but sweet. My hubby did come thru, tho..I have 3 beautiful peach roses on my table!

9. Maybe I would try and like her again if I could find her...but her face is so gone from all the stretching facelifts, she is no longer in existence. Ouch!

10. Wow. I am glad you didn't watch CSI.

11. No. No kepa Ot is a new alien language for "no parental units allowed!"

12. Totally agree. Her posts are hilarious!

13. There outh to be a law against that cereal. Like Lucky Charms...full of marshmallows....the only lucky part is that you don't come down with Diabetes and a stroke after you eat it.

Happy Tuesday, my friend!!

Kearsie said...

Ok, my twits for today:

Special K Chocolate Delight tastes like eating carpet with dusty stepped on chocolate chunks. It's nasty. Maybe that's why you lose pounds when you eat it. Hmm, maybe I should go back on it.

I am forced to breathe with my mouth open today as the boogers have taken my nasal passage hostage. I don't know what they want, but I don't negotiate with boogers.

Also, if my mother knew how much I was writing about boogers she would be very disappointed.

I am fairly certain I ate a tire and every time I take a breath it inflates. Seriously, I can't see my shoes anymore.

robin said...

kearsie.....i am laughing that yuou catually tried the chocolate special k. i stand with kim on this issue. the cereal is an oxymoron in itself. also kears "breathe right strips" are from jesus when you can't breathe thru your nose.

kim.....you should do a "kim's weird dreams" post every week along with your tweets! i am still laughing at the perpetual polka!

Jennifer said...

So did the salad shooter cut the meat or what?!? I'M DYING TO KNOW! LOL!

Stephanie said...

Just stumbled across your blog and had to comment! Loved every word of this post. You are quite witty :)

Stacy Uncorked said...

I'm going to have to start hanging out on Twitter...apparently I'm missing some fun! ;)

w said...

i have a sign on my door that says something about edward cullen and michael vartan. the exact words are not rated for your blog.


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