Wednesday, April 6, 2011

So I Can Make Cakes...Now to Perfect My Cha Cha Cha!!

So...

If any of you out there are still checking this here blog, seeing if it has a pulse, or is growing mold, you might remember this post (oh come on, it was only 4-ish months ago) and how I mentioned somewhere in there that I had made my first fondant cake, and that I had high hopes for the birthdays this year. Well...SHABAM! (look down there)



Oh yeah baby! I rocked the cakes for my kids and my hubby! (Who yes, turned 35 this year...I remember turning 35, all those years ago...good times...so nice having a younger man as a hubby...moving on...)

I realized that fondant wasn't nearly as scary and impossible as I had thought, even making marshmallow fondant, but, making a topsy turvy cake? That is dang hard. It's like attempting to stand on your head. But worse.

Now, to fully prepare for the task ahead of me, I consulted with my friend winn, who is a cake extraordinaire:

Me: "I can't do it!"

Winn: "Yes you can!"

Me: "Watch this video!"

Winn: "Oh see? It's easy! You can do it!"

Me: "Yeah you're right! It looks easy!"

I watched this woman on youtube, who not only has awesome background music on her video, but she made it look like it was all easy peasy, and all you had to do was hap-hazardly wave a knife around and throw frosting on cakes you manhandled like a drunken sailor and VOILA! a fantastic topsy turvy cake is made! Ah ha ha ha!!! Here she is, with her awesome music, and her buttercream, and wild, manic ways. I am pretty sure the film is sped up but, you never can tell...



After watching this video no less than 5,426 times, I thought, psh how hard could this possibly be? Well, anyone can take a box mix and pour it into pans and bake it and then throw frosting on it. Heck any one of us could make it "topsy turvy" by accident! But, what I can tell you is, greasing and flowering, like you're greasing up for a bodybuilding competition, and flouring like you're...um...trying to waste flour, is a total must. I also suggest lining your pans with wax paper, and even greasing and flouring that. You want your cakes to just pop right out of the pan...but realize, you can do ALLLLLL of that and yet still flub it up. Case in point:

These are my new fancy 6-inch pans, being greased and floured and layered and greased and floured...



See how pretty they are? I even hugged damp towel strips around the sides to ensure even baking...


Then I put them in the oven, told them I loved them, and would see them in about 30 min, all beautiful and perfect!


Um, GACK THEY THREW UP!



What the what happened? Well, I blame my Italian heritage and personal philosophy that "more is better." I just filled the pans too dang full.

But, I managed to take the top mess off, eat it all, get totally sick to my stomach, and bake the rest of the cake through, salvaging all my work and hopes and dreams. Did I mention eating partially cooked cake makes you feel REALLY sick?

And because of this mess, the cakes did not pop out, and instead stuck to the edges like dried snot to a nostril. They came out after I knifed them over and over; I should have drawn chalk lines around them and called in a crime unit. But, I decided to go on, thinking the first layer of frosting and then thick fondant would cover the disaster I had created.

The next part just got confusing, and I finally understood why I struggled to get a C in Geometry. I SUCK! That's why...

So, ya know...it was time to frost the cake, something I have done a bazillion times, even when sick. Like I was here...don't worry, I didn't cough on the cake...this of course is the bottom of the cake. In fact, the very bottom. Don't look at my baggy eyes.



Ya know, after this step, and some finesse, I could have stopped...



But no.

I went for it. I cut. I didn't measure. I didn't consider angles or degrees. I didn't even have a mental picture of the video I watched a thousand times. I just cut and prayed for a miracle. Please don't ask about the blue dot. Just don't.



Right here I am thinking, "WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?" and seriously wanting to give that easy-peasy woman a piece of my cake...er, mind.



I decided I needed to soldier through, and made a mental note to have as much frosting as easy-peasy woman had for the next cake...like 10 gallons, or pounds, or however you measure frosting. Like I said I suck at math...and I had about 30 minutes to finish the cake and make myself presentable and leave the house with the cake in tow! I must like stress and high blood pressure more than sanity and health.



Jake decided this was a good time to attempt some more artistic shots...



And I decided sticks and stones might break my bones, but sticks would certainly keep the top of cake from sliding off onto the floor.



The frosting went on and on, and I slathered and prayed, and might have actually uttered a swear word or two, and at one point I thought I had ruined the fondant and cake, which made me cry because I had no time to go to the store and get another cake...but, just in case you forgot,

SHABAMMO!



It all worked out! The kids LOVED the cake, the party was a hit, and I succeeded in decorating a super amazing fancy shmancy cake like I have always wanted to do.



Next I need to figure out how to get on Dancing With The Stars in order to complete my next dream...that's for another post however...

And by the way, come back in about 3 days, because I will be holding a giveaway, and I am not even gonna tease you. It's for your skin and it is FABULOUS! Woot!


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