A Giveaway Winner!

Mommycao! Mommycao!

What's that you say?

She's the winner of the 3 butterfly tealight giveaway! Wooohooo! Happy happy joy joy! Please email me within 3 days w/ your addy so I can send it off to Accent Furniture Direct so they can send you your prize! Congrats!!! If I don't hear from Mommycao within 3 days, I will run the Random Number Generator again for a new winner!

Sorry if you didn't win, I know how that feels, but thanks for entering and checking out Accent Furniture Direct and their cool collection by notNeutral! And come back in September for another fun giveaway!!

By the way, Monday's schedule went without a hitch, and, I love my kids, their personalities shine through in this picture.

Peace out, ya'all!

Analyzing Psycho, Part Deux

Deux, as in, duhhhhhhhh...

Man, so maybe some of you remember how I had this need to be all um, what, what was it...oh yeah! Um, no wait...darn! I seriously can't remember hold on...

PRODUCTIVE! There! Whew! I was losing it right here writing this post! Amazing.

So yeah, done with my studies, passed my interpreting test, and now it's time for the big ol' 3rd year of school for my son, 1st for my daughter, and the daunting task of homeschooling that is up to par with public school standards, yet making it fun and tailored to my kids' interests and learning styles. Yeah yeah, I have been chompin' at the bit to start being all organized and stuff.

But friends, I cannot even make myself get up at a decent hour! I mean, the alarm goes off and my desire to get up is like, there, but when you're just trying to get up for the sake of it, it's hard. I definitely perform better under pressure or necessity.

So that is why it is a good thing that summer is over come Monday. Yep...no Labor Day rest for us! We start school! I am mean that way, plus I like starting things on a Monday, like diets, working out, getting up early, etc. Come Monday I want to be up no later than 7:30, have the kids up and ready to start school at 9, and have alllllllllllllllll my chores, their schooling, working out and domestic stuff done by 3pm so I can sit, take a breather, and then make dinner, THEN do all those extra-curricular activities, come home and spend time together as a family, then put the kids to bed at 8:30pm so hubby and I can have alone time 'til about 12:30am, at which time I crash into bed to be alert for the next day.

I just put some chicken in the oven.

So anyway, there are a bazillion subjects and things the kids have to learn this year, so I researched and read reviews and compared curriculum and read state requirements (or lack thereof) and did little assessments and perused websites and read other blogs and checked Amazon and ordered stuff and signed the kids up for extra-curricular activities and freaked out and worried and wondered and plotted and planned and and and...then I decided I needed a schedule.

I have never really used a schedule, I tried once and it didn't stick. I think I probably pack it too full, and I say that because when I finished writing up this year's schedule, I sincerely felt as if my brain changed molecular structure, from like, a normal pudding consistency to more of a chunky, yet watery consistency that was dripping out of every orifice in my head. I think I started mumbling, and I DEFINITELY forgot what day it was and believed I had discovered another time continuum. But, with everything we need to accomplish, I just don't know how else to do it...look, here's Mondays, what do you think?

7:00am - 8:30am: Wake up, (alone time!) drink coffee, read news/bible study, blog FB stuff

8:30am-9am: Wake up kids, eat breakfast

9am-12pm: School, which includes an art project, BrainPOP lesson on-line, reading, math, and a science experiment

12pm-1pm: Lunch

1:30pm-2:30pm: I get to work out!

2:30pm-3:00pm: Awana book and memorization with the kids

3:00pm-5:00pm: Rest, maybe go outside and play, do chores in the house, pay bills, make dinner

5:00pm: Dinner ready and eat!

5:30pm: Jacob goes to soccer w/ dad
6:00pm: I take Audrey to tennis

7:00pm: Home for family time!

8:00-8:30: Showers and kids in bed!

8:30-12:30: Me and hubby time

12:30: Crash into bed

The other days are very similar, with variances in school subjects, extra-curricular activities and slight time changes, and that doesn't even include all the weekend activities...but...

I feel so compartmentalized! So regimented! So um, CRAZY! Part of me thinks this isn't even possible, another part is like, relieved that I at least have a guide so I am not swimming in a sea of obligations, responsibilities and unobtainable goals!

OK the BBQ sauce would not come out of the bottle as quickly as I wanted to baste the chicken in a timely manner. That makes me angry.

I have never been one to embrace the whole, "soccer mom" persona, running this way and that and always being "soooooo busy". I am much more the, "embrace my couch and coffee mug" mom.

I am even going to run a 5k in late September. What???

So you all know how these blog posts go, I ramble and freak and wonder and type waaaaay too much while ignoring commas and I have no exciting visuals or even witty one-liners, but, this is the junk in my head and you are all privy to it at this moment in time. Aren't you all feeling special right about now!

So, if you took the time to read this rambling post, let me know how your schedule is going! I have some people in my life that are ready to host an intervention for me, but, I am actually excited about all the things we get to do and try and watching my kids learn and grow and change and to be the one guiding all of that. Do you think it's all possible? Shoot !!! I forgot to add "plucking eyebrows" to my schedule. Sure don't want them to grow together, again...

Tues-er...Wednesday Twitters?

OK so I am late on TT...it happens, right? If I were a week late, then that might be a problem...or really, it would just be next Tuesday.

My daughter tried to choose a card during a game, and she said, "neemy eemy miney mo, cafer tiga nema do." I promise no one was drinking.

We taught her the rhyme, after laughing. A lot. Then after teaching her I wish I would have left her alone. It was so cute.

So, I am pretty sure, like 75.4% sure, that this spider is trying to kill us.

Every day it makes a web across our front door. We take down the web. It builds it again. Then, I even MOVED said spider to another location and he CAME BACK TO KILL US! If you don't hear from me, assume the spider ate me. And yes I took this picture. Again, my camera ROCKS!

Yeah, I am probably slightly obsessed with spiders. And coffee. And zombies. My kids probably get their vivid imagination, and insomnia, from me.

We went on a nature walk yesterday and saw all of these, and came home and looked them up to identify and learn about them. From left to right is the narrow-winged damselfly, short-horned grasshopper, and the tomato horn worm. Cool huh?

Jacob also learned how to navigate using a map. Homeschooling RULZ!

My pal Harriet posted this about a blogger getting in trouble for calling a model mean names on her blog. I just want to clarify I said Kim Catrall was rockin' that bikini, r-o-c-k-i-n...and I meant it! I mean, I am nearly half her age and she hands down looks hotter than me! Totally! She is naturally NATURALLY smokin!!! (paranoid)

I am SO ready for turkey. Anyone else? I mean, I can only eat so much chicken skin, me want me some turkey, like, now!

I think I am addicted to 3D movies. That's what happens when you drink too much coffee...

And I wish this was a full-length feature, because this is hysterical, although I will probably still see the real one, because I love a bad plot, senseless action and zombies, even though there aren't any.

By the way, at the zoo today there were vampire bats, and they were drinking blood from little bowls, and um, I want to write the zoo and complain about that, because that is really, REALLY gross, and if they are gonna do that, they should at least have zombies in the exhibit too so I won't be so freaked out.

I need to stop drinking coffee...

In a Sea of Pumgars, I'll Stick with Being just "Mom" Thank You...

So, I read this news article, well, more of a pictorial, well, more just garbage with pictures, about how Hollywood Women are being categorized using zoo animals...well, saying that those in their 30's are "Pumas" and those in their 40's and beyond are "Cougars" (Kim Catrall being the first lucky Hollywood starlet to be coined a Cougar, rockin' a bikini in her 50's). Then this riveting piece of journalistic genius had me agog when it revealed that Jen Aniston is a "cougar" playing a "puma" in a new movie. Um, what?

Ok, first, I was all, what the heck is a puma and what is a cougar? I know they are cats, I just wanted a reference, so I had to look it up.

So um, apparently, according to wikipedia, they are the same thing! They are also called mountain lions, and panthers, just so you know. Might as well call them a Pumgar. Hmmm...

And as we can see, this is something all of us in our mid 30's to 40's need to consider, as the young folk get confused when trying to look through the Botox to identify Hollywood women according to cats of the Felidae family, that are like, the same exact animal.

But I would like to break this down a little more and really get to what it means to be a Puma/Cougar in the real world, as I am, one who isn't privy to a glamorous life-style, nerve paralysis or Photoshop.

So I went on-line to check the prime authority on all of this, The Urban Dictionary, to see where I stand in all of this. Apparently, a Cougar/Puma is...

-An older woman who frequents clubs.
(check...I go to Sam's Club quite often, especially for paper towels and fruit snacks)

-An attractive older woman who hunts down younger exciting men.
(check...hubby is 2 years younger, and though I am pretty sure of his location at all times, losing him at Sam's Club between the canned food isle and the electronics is pretty exciting!!)

-She looks and acts younger than her age.
(Pshyeah! All those Facebook quizzes I take say I am like, 23, which is like the shiz, so I send out my notification all proud like, Holla!!...what?)

-A hot mom.
(how about hot and cold mom? Not sure this one fits, my toes are always cold)

-An attractive older woman on the prowl.
(Dern right I am on the prowl! Those coupons ain't gonna get into my claws on their own! This week I get free Mayo! And I lost my ankle sock again, where the heck did it go???)

-A mature female mate who has no interest in reproducing.
(I willingly had two fantastic children in my 20's, otherwise, amen!)

-An older woman with an insatiable appetite for...
(Food? Sleep? Reality shows? COFFEE?? Surely they don't mean...oh...they do...insatiable? Um, next!)

-They prefer to attack men who are starving musicians or students.
(AHAHAHAHHAH! When dinner is about 20 minutes late, and my younger, guitar-playing, PhD seeking husband asks, again, when dinner will be, you BET I am attacking him!)

-Wears tight clothing, padded bras and has over-processed hair/skin.
(Hmmmmm...I wear pajamas, the second item only if I have to, and, is jet-black hair dye and caked-on adult acne cream considered over-processed?)

-Cannot be defined, can mean many things.
(Oh now THAT'S helpful. Back to the whole difference between "Cougar" and "Puma" thing I see...sigh...)

Puma, Cougar, in this crazy jungle of life, I'll just stick with Mom.

Review and Giveaway!

Hey all!

So, I was contacted by a fun company, Accent Furniture Direct (AFD), to do a review on an item in their notNetural collection, and, they also offered a giveaway item as well for all my wonderful readers! Happy happy joy joy!

First, here's what the AFD says about their featured collection from notNeutral:

notNeutral is a product design company that creates design-oriented lifestyle products based on past and current projects by Rios Clementi Hale Studios. Signature pattern and color have become a trademark in the creation of bold, colorful, and innovative products encompassing all categories of the modern lifestyle. notNeutral’s vibrant, confident and streetwise products are original and accessible, expressing individuality and choice. Not Neutral has built a unique following that attracts the discerning, young-spirited customer who enjoys color, pattern, and versatility.

This collection is original and witty, and they have unique, beautiful AND practical items for every room in the house! AFD also offers free shipping and no hassle returns as well! Woot!

I chose to review the Orange P3 Chalk Board Wall Panel, because I had been looking for something to use with the kids during home school lessons when I need to break down a word or elaborate on a math concept. I was tired of searching for scrap paper or writing in the margins of their books, so I was quite excited to find this item!

This wall-mounted chalkboard panel is 15.5 x 15.5 and the design is in fact sleek and, according to my husband, well-made. The assembly is a cinch, you simply attach the chalk/eraser tray with the sticky tabs provided, and tabs are also provided for a quick wall mount. The board surface is smooooooooooooth. I kept running my hands all over it; it doesn't remind you at all of the chalkboards in your elementary school, this chalkboard would fit nicely into any room you chose to put it in.

I grabbed some chalk and threw on some math problems. Of course the size is perfect for visual examples and in no way is it bulky or a space hog. I am choosing not to mount mine, as I am using it for school. The chalk comes right off with a slightly damp cloth, which is lovely.

Pros:
-Sleek and modern design, comes in many accent colors
-Functional and lightweight
-Well-made
-Easy assembly and mounting
-AFD offers GREAT sale prices!

Cons:
-It would have been nice to have a chalk/eraser set that came with it, especially a matching one!
-I am not sure if the sticky tabs for mounting are the removable kind, and I would buy some of those just in case before mounting.

Overall I am very pleased with this product!

Now for the giveaway!

Accent Furniture Direct has graciously agreed to give away a lovely Three Butterfly tea light holder, also from the notNeutral collection, in either black or white! The lighting affect, as you can see, is quite striking and would bring wonderful ambiance to any room and/or event! I can just imagine buying like, six of these, adding some lavender tea lights, and lining my fireplace or my mantle with them for a romantic evening...but wait, I shan't go on, because I want to hear from you!

So here's how to enter!

1. REQUIRED: Visit the notNeutral collection over at AFD and tell me what your favorite piece is, remember to leave me a safe way to contact you!

EXTRA ENTRIES; EACH ONE IS SEPARATE AND COUNTS AS ONE:

2. Tell me how YOU would use the chalkboard in your home
3. Tell me how you would decorate with the giveaway prize
4. Tweet this giveaway, come back and comment the link

THESE ACTIONS ARE SEPARATE AND COUNT FOR THREE (3) ENTRIES EACH:

5. Blog about this giveaway and come back and comment the link
6. Buy something from the notNeutral collection over at AFD, leaving me your verification number for confirmation of purchase

I will use the Random Number Generator (RNG) on Monday, August 31st at 12pm to choose a winner. The winner will have 3 days to respond and if no contact is made the RNG will choose another winner!

WOOOOOOHOOOOO! I hope you win! And by you I mean, you.

Tuesday Twitters

So have any of you seen that trailer, The Fourth Kind, about those alien abductions in Nome, Alaska? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Now, it's not like I could see Nome from my house, but COME ON! I lived in Alaska my whole life and have NEVER heard this story before! Maybe Jacob was on to something...

Speaking of aliens, my spiky spider is like, twice the size she was. Well her abdomen is. Yep, she's having babies...BABIES!

And, there is a pretty green and yellow spider in the front. It keeps tethering its tether-line for the web across the door, and upon walking out the door, I just pick it up and move the tether to the mailbox. Am I awesome or what??

My daughter keeps calling adults "humans"...hmmm, she's never been to Nome...

It rained so we're not going to the pool. I shaved for nothing.

Are all 8-year-old boys generally destructive?

Hey all! I plan to run a 5k in the fall! Yeah, I know what you're thinking; HAHAHHAHAHHA! But, I am gonna do it I tell ya, even if I have to do it following an ice cream truck, or convincing myself that aliens are chasing me!

In case you're all wondering yes I am still addicted to my coffee. I filled the carafe today and thought our water was brown, it was just the stained carafe! Uhh, maybe I should check my teeth...

It's Time to Evict the Aliens

So ya'all...

My son is obsessed with science and science shows, and he knows a ton about black holes, twisters, the earth's core and that you have to be 18 to vote. Wait, that didn't fit...

Anyway, while in Alaska, Jacob sat down with my dad to watch a science program, while us girls (me, my mom and Audrey) went downstairs to watch a girly movie. Little did I know that the science show would be one of those, "are UFO's real?" docudramas.

I say drama, because c'mon, it's 8-year-old + aliens + imagination, so, upon finding out what the show was about, I decided to do that whole "PG" suggestion that usually comes with movies...

Me: "OK Jacob, you know they are talking theory here."
Jacob: *Sigh* "Yes mom let me watch it!"
Me: "And many of these shows are designed to be dramatic and sensational."
Jacob: "Mom I know! I am 8-years-old! I want to watch it!"
Me: "OK, just remember the things the scientists say are theories at best, OK?"
Jacob: "OK mom! Let me go I'm missing it!"

Now, disclaimer here, I am not discrediting anyone who believes they have seen a UFO, because hey, the acronym does mean Unidentified Flying Object so...it's possible to see something flying around you can't identify (heck, that's half of the bugs I see around here alone!) and I am sorry for anyone who believes they have been abducted and experimented on by aliens, who could or could not have been from the UFO in the air...anyway...just saying, I'm not judging, BUT...

Us girls had a blast dancing, singing, watching a great movie, three generations of women building lasting memories. My son however, processed the docudrama in the exact way I didn't want him to.

To my dad's credit, he did a great job being objective and keeping watch to make sure there were no "reenactments" of implantations or eyes being probed with metal objects, or gangly, green, bug-eyed creatures chasing down terrified people. But you know what, it didn't matter. Later that night...

Me: "Jacob, go get ready for bed."
Jacob: *Sits there on the bed*
Me: "Jacob, you need to potty, go!"
Jacob: "No."
Me: "No? Why?"
Jacob: "There are aliens in the living room."
Me: *Sigh* "I KNEW you shouldn't have watched that show! There are no aliens in there."
Jacob: "How do you know? They could get me! Audrey come with me!"
Me: "Now, how is your 6-year-old sister going to save you?"
Audrey: "I'll karate chop them!"
Jacob: "And I'll bring my light saber!"
Me: "OK seriously kids, if there were aliens in the living room, do you think Audrey and a light saber are going to defeat them?"
Jacob: "It just makes me feel better."
Me: "OK...go."

So Jacob grabbed his light saber, and Audrey got into some "crouching tiger" position as they slinked out the bedroom door and flew the agonizing three feet to the bathroom across the hall. Audrey stood guard by the door with the light saber as Jacob quickly peed. Then they dashed back into the room and onto their beds.

Me: "Well, any aliens?"
Audrey: "Um...No?"
Me: "No?"
Jacob: "We ran really fast, so we didn't see."

By this time my dad peeks his head in the room to say goodnight.

Audrey: "Pipa, Jacob is scared of aliens."
Dad: "Aliens?"
Jacob: "Yeah, they're in the living room."
Dad: "They are?" *Dad goes into the living room to check*

Now side note here, dad is a full-blown Italian with a Brooklyn accent. He's the guy you want walking you home on a dark night, believe me.

Dad: "Eh, I sent them home."
Jacob: "WHAT?"
Dad: "Yeah...I told them there was nothing here they needed, and to get outta here. They won't be coming back. Yous guys are OK."
Audrey: "Did you karate chop them? Or can we be their friends?" [Audrey, always the social hopeful]
Dad: "Eh...they'll listen to me. They wont' be coming back. Now go to bed." *Dad leaves the room*

The kids looked at me a little concerned.

Me: "Hey, I grew up in this house and never saw an alien. If Pipa took care of them then I wouldn't worry."
Audrey: "Yeah, Pipa has big muscles."
Jacob: *Sitting silently, wondering if he just witnessed more drama and sensationalism*

We all went to sleep, Jacob clutching his light saber, and Audrey dreaming of a diplomatic reconciliation with ET and friends.

The aliens never came back. I have one tough dad!

PS by the way, just found this hysteri...uh, informative blog about surviving zombie attacks, because I am pretty sure zombies exist...

Tartar Control

I have realized recently (or at least come out of denial about) that I am not the most patient person in the world. I used to think I was, and I still have the amazing ability to wait for a parking space or stand in line at the grocery store for like 30 minutes, but for some other things, I just have too short of a fuse me thinks...

Recently I made sugar cookies with the kids. I didn't have that lackadaisical, let them be kids attitude, instead I said things like, "be careful with the spoon!" or, "don't fling the dough out it has raw egg in it!" or, "ack! don't lick your fingers you'll get salmonella!" And then, when it was time to drop spoonfuls onto the cookie sheet I pleaded, "that's not enough!" and, "no, no, do it like this!" and, "no, no no!" Sigh. What is wrong with me? Poor kids.

Then I made the frosting. For those of you who know, my baking endeavors often end up piles of sugary disasters. This time the goal was to make pink and white frosting. I decided to put all the ingredients into gallon zip lock bags and mush them all together, guessing on the right combination for the consistency. Then I thought I would just cut a tiny hole in the corner and glossy, smooth frosting would ooze out slowly and cover the yummy cookies, just like when Martha does it. Well...

The white frosting, really, looked like yellow-tinged snot from a person that needs serious antibiotic treatment, and the pink? Yeah...too much red food coloring made it look like coagulated pig's blood, a concoction that I REALLY needed to put into the hands of my six-year-old in our carpeted dining room. Then the conversation went like this...

Me: "Hold this over the cookies, the cookies, COOKIES!"
Me: "ACK! No! Not over the carpet!"
Me: "Don't squeeze that hard!"
Me: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" [that was when Jacob held the coagulated pig's blood, frosting tip down, toward the carpet and swung it around]

Oh, in case you're curious...


Really, they look even grosser in real life. But, sprinkles make everything look better, kinda like a tan...anyway...

So yes, in these cases I put myself in the predicament. But this is what I really want to talk about. Brushing teeth.

You all, this drives me...insane. And while I know I am not alone (read Kearsie's tooth-brushing dramas here) it is pure insanity because truly, I fall into a Twilight Zone episode every night, hoping for a different result. It's like this...

Me: "Kids, time for teeth brushing!"
Kids: *Running around, totally ignoring my command*
Me: "Kids, upstairs, now, and I don't want any playing around! Get your teeth brushed!"
Kids: "OK mommmmmmmmmmie!"

They scramble upstairs, slam-dancing the whole way, cram through the bathroom door and simultaneously grab the drawer, fighting to open it. I hear,

Audrey: "Jacob! Jacob STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

Jacob grabs the tooth paste AND Audge's tooth brush, laughing hysterically.

Audrey: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!:

Me: "Hey! You two stop it now! BRUSH YOUR TEETH!"

Suddenly Audrey announces she has to go potty, and shoves Jacob out and slams the door. He refuses to go downstairs and finish brushing, as he giggles and my face turns red while I contemplate banging my head against the wall. She forgets to flush the toilet, again, and I again, tell her to flush it!!! They reposition and attempt to follow my directions.

Audrey is left handed, Jacob is right. They stand on the wrong sides of the sink, and bump elbows, over and over, which purposefully starts another whining and shoving match I get to break up, while yelling, "brush your teeth! They're gonna fall out if you don't!"

Then it's the mirror. They don't have the ability stay on either side of the divide, like I order them to, every night, so more shoving and screaming ensues which causes those pretty little spit paste marks to speckle their reflection, and more yelling, pleading, and threatening is dished out. I have at least tapped my head lighting against the wall by now...

Then it's the sink. Apparently it just isn't big enough for two small children to spit into at the same time, and of course, they MUST spit at the same time, and they LOVE to spit, and they attempt to spit out every blasted bit of moisture in their mouth. More shoving and MORE spitting and yelling follows...

And really during all this time, which is about oh, 15 minutes of pure mayhem, they have just managed to hold the toothbrush in their mouth, and while laughing and yelling and shoving and spitting, toothpaste drool has dribbled down their chins and onto their pajamas and the floor. By this time I have threatened to take away every electronic device they own. cancel play dates, take away favorite loveys, and even threatened an impromptu dentist visit. Sometimes it works, sometimes I just cry...

So then I take over the brushing, because I seriously don't have time for teeth to be falling out or collecting cavities. Brushing an 8-year-old's teeth is about as easy as brushing my (now deceased) chihuahua's teeth, except instead of being violently bitten I am almost knocked over by the smell of tonsil breath and the spray of paste spit that covers me while he tries to talk to me. OH! Wait! Don't forget the flossing! It goes like this:

Me: "LOOK AT ME! I can't floss while you're looking over there!"
Jacob: "OW!"
Me: "What?"
Jacob: "Your nail is hurting my cheek!"
Me: Sorry, this isn't as easy as it..." [a big piece of food flies off the string and lands in my eye]
Jacob: "AAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"
Me: *GAG* "Tonsil breath!!"

This happens every night people. Is something wrong with me? Wait! Don't answer that, just have a cookie...*GAG*

Tuesday Twitters

OK I have just one twitter today...

I have been a sign language interpreter for many years now, and I have been studying for a test to become nationally certified in American Sign Language interpreting for two years. I failed the first time around, but I picked myself up, and I continually juggled studying with being a full-time SAHM, and a home school teacher, and a support to my husband who is working so hard through his doctoral program. I must say that during this time I truly got favor from God in scheduling/timing and putting me where I am right now and because of that...

I PASSED YA'ALL!!!!!

This is a big deal! This is a very VERY hard test! And, it's all I can think about right now so, sorry this is a short TT but...

WOOOOOHOOOOO! ACK! SCREAM! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! JUMP UP AND DOWN! I AM SOOOOO FREAKIN' HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK. You all have an awesome day too. I am gonna go jump around and smile and call people and stuff...

Peace out!

Coffee is the New Coffee

You know how they say, "pink is the new black" or "40 is the new 20" and stuff like like? Well, I'm here to say this; coffee is the new coffee.

Yes. Profound, eh? I thought so. See, it's not that I have a newly acquired addiction to coffee, like I wasn't drinking it before, everyday, all the time. It's not that my love for it is new and exciting, I have been drinking this stuff since I was nine. Yes, nine years old, friends! Got up every morning, flipped on, "Welcome to Pooh Corner" and tried to think of good reasons to give my mom as to why I didn't need to finish the third grade. Coffee, you see, has a way of making one feel knowledgeable, refined and "settled".

And recently I have been drinking coffee a lot. A lot a lot. Nearly three times a day a lot. OK, I may not drink as much as the espresso-hooked junkie that makes 18 trips a day to Starbucks or whatever, but, my day is sandwiched by coffee; I drink it in the morning, often at 3pm, and then again at night, giddy every time I hop over to make it. I tell ya, coffee is the only way I get my daily water intake...

And part of the reason I can do this is because I am, I think, immune to caffeine. Seriously. I can be finishing up my coffee at 11 pm and fall asleep with no problem at all. Yeah, it's a gift! Maybe it's because I began sneaking my dad's coffee when I was about 2 years old; he would take a nap, and I would tip-toe over and silently sip his coffee, all cold with that creamer skin on top. You junkies know what I am talking about...and then I never stopped. Just started drinking it every morning. And I am pretty sure that's why I didn't grow those last two inches the doctor predicted I would. Darn it.

And you know how "they" say that many people with fetishes or addictions find healthy ways to satiate their impulses, like, for example, pyromaniacs become firefighters? Well, I became a barrista, and the copious amounts of coffee I downed everyday never burned me out. I drank it all day long for three years.

Then I married my husband, who also worked in the business, for 14 years, in the corporate side of it all, and he smelled like coffee, brought home good coffee...mmm coffee...

That might be why my kids are begging me to start drinking coffee! Yeah, we were the parents that would let our kids taste daddy's doppio, two shots of straight espresso that when made correctly is quite delish, with aromatic hints of berries, chocolate or nuts...but when made bad tastes a lot like cough syrup and vomit. As a toddler, Jacob would often attempt to lick the inside of the emptied demitasse cup. We knew then we were gonna have a problem.

And yes, it has begun. Jacob is counting the days to his 9th birthday because he is ready to drink coffee in the morning, just like mommy, thus replacing his much "healthier" chocolate milk, and Audrey often looks up from coloring or playing with dolls and sighs pensively, "I could really use a la-taaaaay."

So, will I really allow them to start drinking coffee, and, ya know, start discussing philosophy with them, while having an afternoon latte and biscotti at a quaint cafe? Will I start to buy coffee cards to stick in their Christmas stockings? Will Jacob grow a goatee at age 10, and Audrey start wearing patchouli and playing guitar at open mike night at age 7? I don't know. Coffee does have a way of making you grow up fast, so hey, if I can get them working as barristas at age 13, just so they can get their fix, then it might be worth fostering an early addiction...what do you all think?

Tuesday Twitters

I love TT so much more than the real twitter; I knew I could never be bound by 140 characters, of any kind...

Unless it's 140 of these**,


then I might just consider moving to Mars...

(I still love my camera)

It was weird watching Total Recall again. Mainly because I was thinking man, Arnold has some resume! World Champion Body Building, Blockbuster Superstar, Governor of California...jumble those careers up into another order and it just doesn't work! Or it works even less than it does now...

Maybe I am having these weird thoughts because I am drinking coffee at 11 pm...

But I fall asleep just fine at 1 am! Coffeeeeeeee...

Don't you just LOVE baking air? Apparently I do!!

While driving in the dark, going home, the kids were convinced we were lost. Jacob whimpered while Audrey wailed, "we are lost FOREVER! We will NEVER find our way home! We'll NEVER get food again! We...wait, I know that building!" Darkness = drama.

I am severely addicted to fettuccine right now...it's like, more important than water. I'm Italian. What can I say...

World of Quest is my new favorite cartoon. You can find it on Netflix instant...make it your favorite too. Now.

Oh man...too much fettuccine...

Had this conversation with Audrey:

Audrey: Mom, remember that bird, it's name, the one you don't want us to say out loud?
Me: Um...
Audrey: You know, the Booby?
Me: Oh, yeah, well...just don't talk about it a lot in public, OK?
Audrey: Why?
Me: Well, it's just not a word we use in like, everyday conversation.
Audrey: Because it's exstinked?
Me: You mean extinct?
Audrey: Yeah!
Me: Well, yeah, some people don't even know what that bird is.
Audrey: ...Will I ever see a baby Booby?
Me: [Kim leaves the room to laugh hysterically right before shes comes back to say this] No.

So, me thinks that if you have any obsessive tendencies toward Twilight, Edward, or French actors, you need to stop by wendiwinn and Sounds Like Tomatoes. As they are solidifying my suspicions that since they came around, Prince Charming is half the man he used to be...

** that is a spiny orbed weaver spider. SHUDDER!!!

Date Night; It's All About The...

So, if you're like us, you don't get out much...alone. Sure, there are a few opportunities to take the kids out, like to the park...or the zoo, or the pool, or soccer games, play dates, toy shopping, nature walks, movies, McDonalds...etc, etc, etc...but there rarely seems time to find someone else, not doing nearly the same things, to watch your kids so you can get a night out, ESPECIALLY overnight!

It's been over 2 years since we had an over-night out alone (you're either laughing at me or crying with me), and though I normally want to be about 11.2 inches away from my kids, I too need that bit of freedom and fun. Time to laugh, and talk with hubby, dress up, put make-up on, and see what's happening in the city. Oh who am I kidding. It's about the food.

Yesssssssss. The FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Oh! The splendid opportunity to eat amazing delish food in a restaurant that doesn't offer crayons, booster seats, or french fries, OR chicken skin for that matter!

OK, OK...it's also about the...SLEEP! SLEEEEEEEEEEEP! No breaking up fights, filling up water glasses, turning off lights that somehow get turned on, again, fighting monsters or waking up 3 hours earlier than you wanted to!

Food and sleep. Food and sleep! Yeah, there is that other thing too but, we ain't going there now...now all I plan to do is make you all ooooo and ahhh over some tantalizing, sensual, luscious pictures of...the food we ate!

So in celebration of our 13th wedding anniversary, and me turning 35, hubby surprised me with an overnight excursion whilst in Alaska for our vacation. It is now my quest to make you all insanely jealous and pine for a trip to my home state!

First, we had to drop the kids off to a brave and willing friend. Easy (only two of those are mine).


We are looking smashing, (and half our age, HA!) and ready to hit the town on our hot date night!


Then we had a 45 minute drive out to a small town called Girdwood. Well, that's what the visiting folk call it. We have other names for it...

Approaching our destination, we see the restaurant...Oh, looks like it's on a cliff, or ledge, or hill, right?


Wait for it...


Yeah...


It's on a FRIGGIN MOUNTAIN! 2300 feet up ya'all! See it up there? See it???

No, we didn't have to climb to get to the top, (like we did Flattop) besides, I was wearing heels, and I didn't feel like breaking my ankle. Or dying.

You use this to get up there. See the tiny tram? Going up the cables? Of course we are on the other one, I am not hanging from the cables, I'm not THAT adventurous...oh! and there is the hotel. So, so nice...

And while on the tram, going up to a lovely dinner, you see things like this!


and this!
This restaurant is called Seven Glaciers. And yes, in that pic up there, you saw one of the glaciers.

Yes, be impressed by my artistic photography, that is quite artistic, and impressive...

The view from our table...

This is about 9:45 pm. Every window has a view like this!

So to say we went all out on our meals is an understatement. First, we got a lovely Pinot to share,



and hubby ordered the Chef's Tasting Menu which sounds like something you might get at like Chili's or something, but that's like comparing gold to glitter...here it is...

He had the prawn, scallop and andouille sausage appetizer, a King Crab cocktail salad paired with a strawberry/mascarpone cheese salad, mesquite-grilled elk pork chop over creamy potatoes and fresh Alaskan salmon over wild rice, and for dessert a peach ice-cream tort...as far as I can remember...that's why I take the pictures...the wine was soooo goooood...

And here is what I had...

I had the seared duck salad with wild greens, a complimentary King Crab salad, sans strawberries (I merely mentioned I couldn't try hubby's due to the strawberries, and the chef brought me out a HUGE one!) 20 ounces of simple yet FANTASTIC Alaskan King Crab with drawn butter and some rice fritter thing that was like, amazing, and for dessert the Baked Alyeska, vanilla and chocolate mousse covered in meringue and raspberry/lemon sauce.

Oh.my.goodness. I am so jealous. And ya'all, I was there! I ate it!

Friends, to quote Ferris Bueller, "we ate pancreas!" is by far the best exclamation I can exclaim. At least that's what I think he said. And even though we didn't actually eat pancreas. The wine was sooooooo gooooooood...

Watching the sun...uh, move, across the night sky while sharing a quiet, relaxing, quiet, amazing, quiet meal with the love of my life was soooooo needed! We even had a cozy nightcap at the hotel bar afterward and enjoyed the rest of our evening alone...we even heard the kids lived it up and ate some exotic fare as well...

Eh, it's ok. The wine was sooooooooo goooooooood...