Sunday, November 29, 2009

CLOSED: Hey! Pssst! Yeah You!!! Guess What? You'll Like This Stuff!!

THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED

*giggle happiness!* How I love to host giveaways!

Here's a fantastical one to start off the holidays. Perfect stocking-stuffers for your little daughter, niece, granddaughter, or whoever you have in your life with long hair, who could wear these sweet, sweet pony-tail holders, lovingly and pragmatically made by wendiwinn on etsy!



The winning prize is five adorable sets of ponytail holders! Each set includes two fabric covered buttons, made with Goody "ouchless" elastic bands looped through the button shank, for a secure and perfect fit!

Her shop is fun and unique, boasting vintage accents and creative paper ensembles. Wendiwinn also has a blog that is most hysterical. She is probably saying "psh" as she reads all this nice fluffiness about her, but, I say "psh" back, 'cause I am always right, and I worked hard at thinking up fantastic adjectives. She really likes stuff and I know you will really like her AND her stuff! So here's how this giveaway is gonna work OK?

Required entry:
Visit Wendiwinn on esty, come back here and comment on your favorite item.

Additional entries:
1. Become a fan of Wendiwinn on her etsy site by clicking the heart to "favorite" her shop.
2. Tweet this giveaway, with the link left here in the comments, tweet once a day through the end of the giveaway for more entries! (Look you can even tweet using my cool lil' toolbar down there. Man that is easy AND AWESOME!!)
3. Go to her blog and read/leave a comment on any of her blog posts, come back here and tell me which post you commented on.
4. If you buy something from her shop, come back here and let me know. Once it is verified you will have 5 extra entries!

Oh, and...

5. Get her an autographed photo of Michael Vartan and you automatically win.
6. Get Michael Vartan to follow her on Twitter and she may give you everything she owns.

The last two are not real. Seriously. I think.

This giveaway will close Wednesday, December 9th at 12pm EST, after the Random Number Generator picks your entry. And by "your entry" I mean you.

OK hope you all are recovering from your massive food intake this past week (yeah, you, I mean you there, still noshing on 5-day old pumpkin pie) and you're all gearing up for a great Holiday season!

Oh! And I hope you win! And, again, by you I mean, you.


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A Cornuopia of Thoughts this Thanksgiving Holiday!

Happy Turkey Day Ya'all!!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPY!!!!!!

"Um, are ya happy kim?" you ask...

Oh my. I think we all are! But really, Thanksgiving dinner is my most of most favoritists meals in the whole entire world ever seriously! I love to make it, I love to eat it, I love to zap leftovers in the microwave and eat pie every morning for breakfast for a week! Thanksgiving dinner is my drug of choice, my gluttonous pleasure, it's what I pine for starting right after Labor Day weekend. It brings back fantastic memories at home, and I am convinced my mom makes the best meal like, ever. I do my best to copy it, and I think I do an ok job...

I feel incredibly thankful every year when I go and buy the bounty that will become our feast, and I actually marvel at the groceries stacked high in our kitchen. I keep thinking WOW! We are so blessed and provided for! I am about to intentionally stuff my face, and the faces of my family and friends, simply because I can! Then I am gonna lay around and perform breathing exercises in order to digest everything I consumed in 15 minutes flat.

It's almost unbearable.

So that is the joy of the tradition of our family and many families around us; we remember the things we are thankful for and we actually all sit down at the table together to eat. I have really enjoyed reading all the status updates of friends on Facebook, who have decided to state, everyday of this month, something they are thankful for.

Of course as I teach the kids the history of the pilgrims and the first Thanksgiving, I soberly realize there are many who have views that don't see it as a day to celebrate, but see the day more as an embarrassment, and tragedy, especially when the stories of Squanto and Pocahontas are taught; and really, with a maternal great-grandpa who was full Cherokee, and a paternal great-grandpa who was full Sicilian, I would say I have one foot firmly planted in both camps. When I relay these stories to my kids, I don't hide the history, but, I also add in, that without the kindness of many of the pilgrims, and the giving, kind, forgiving nature of the Native Americans, who reciprocated with grace and compassion, even when they didn't have to, there wouldn't be anything to celebrate at all. Basically for us in Modern Day America, it is a day that is carved out, where we are to rest, be with loved ones, GIVE THANKS for what we have, and it is a day that we can bless others and give to others as well. At this point that is something all should do AND celebrate!

*falling off soapsud box*

We will actually be having our dinner with friends a few days later, and originally I had planned for our family to go serve Thanksgiving meals to the community with our church at a restaurant they partner with every year. I went to sign us up, and I blinked several times and scratched my head when I found out every position was FILLED; they didn't need any more volunteers! I am still not sure what we will do that day, I am still figuring it out. I might even call just to make sure they are certain they really don't need anyone else...

Because see I am still impacted greatly by the video I posted last year, back when I didn't really have any readers, but for a few friends and loyal cyberpals.

So yep. I'm posting it. Again. Yes.

I really want my kids to understand how blessed they are, and how important it is to serve and love others. I am hoping every year our Holiday Season will more and more be a time where we experience giving to others around us who don't have what we have. And I want to partner that with fun family traditions and activities that strengthen and celebrate our family bond. We have found ways to serve as a family and I am always blown away at how hard my kids work and how much they value the act of service and, that at their young age they know this makes a positive impact on the world around them. Plus when they are having a totally selfish moment, or when I am having a totally selfish moment, those experiences are blaring reminders that we need serious attitude adjustments.

So not only am I excited about turkey this time of year, I am constantly thinking about this:



This.compels.me. I can't watch it without crying, and at the same time being thankful I can go do something about it!

And this year, they have a follow-up video!



This lifts my heart ya'all! Whatever people do, big or small, it always points to the real reason for the season!

Please share with me the things you and your family do this time of year, serving in your communities and beyond, and if you haven't added this tradition of serving to your families yet, take the time to consider how you can bless others during this Holiday Season!

Peace out ya'all and have a great weekend!!


Monday, November 23, 2009

Insanity Mondays

Jacob: "Mom? Do I have ABC?"
Me: "Huh?"
Jacob: "You know, ABC? Kids are born with it?"
Me: "You mean ADD?"
Jacob: "Yeah! ADD! Do I have that?"
Me: *thinking long and hard about the question*
Jacob: "Mom?"
Me: "Huh?"


Thursday, November 19, 2009

FACT: Cows Filled with Methane Gas Kill!


Ya'all, my son used to suffer from PMS.

Seriously. It was bad.

PMS? What? An eight-year-old boy with Pre-Menstrual Syndrome?

Well, no, not really...

An eight-year-old with PMS: Petrified of Monsters Syndrome.

Yeah, that PMS!

Stupid monsters.

Stupid dumb monsters were waking him up, staring at him, standing in his doorway, peering through his window, and stupid dumb toys were morphing into monsters on his floor! All at 4 am! AUUUGH!

That equaled a tired, irritated, stressed out little man, and a frustrated mom.

STUPID!

Nightlight? Nooooo...made it easier to see them. Pitch black? NOOOOOOOO! Then he couldn't see them to make sure they were not about to pounce on him and eat his brain. Flashlight? Sigh. It was dead in 2 hours from over-use. Spray bottle, shooting Monster Spray? NEVER AGAIN! The whole room, including his sister, was drenched in 30 seconds, mold spores and wet dog smell threatened to take hold...we don't even have a dog!

Then...

He tells me something he learned...

Apparently, cows emit methane gas, which is highly toxic, and lethal, and deadly.

Yes people, cow farts kill. And, cow farts are funny. AND, cows fart all the time.

After convincing him that we could drive past a cow pasture without holding our breath for fear of a painful and smelly demise, a light bulb came on over my head, and I actually convinced him of this: Cow farts kill monsters!

Of course there was no way we were strapping a cow to the roof of our car, like a Christmas tree, in order to get it home to set it up in his room, backside poised and ready, but, since Jacob can often rationally conclude that monsters are imaginary, albeit freakin' scary, then by the same rational he concluded it's a good idea to have some imaginary cows around at night to obliterate the jerks-er, monsters.

Ohhhhhh yes. And, by the way, imaginary cows are even more powerful than real ones, because:

-If you feed them matches, they fart out fire.
-If you feed them pencils, they fart out poisonous arrows.
-If you feed them apples, they fart out fragmentation grenades.

And, if you feed them beans, they emit a nuclear warhead.

We sat together and imagined him feeding a heard of pet cows various objects, and laughed about what came out of their backsides, as the monsters melted, exploded, disappeared into thin air, and just all-around basically DIED from the onslaught of cow whoopin'!

Personally, I would be imagining me shoveling beans into those weapons of mass destruction all night long, but, Jacob seems to enjoy imagining the monsters suffer, but mainly he enjoys imagining crazy things flying out of cow butts.

All I call say is hey, don't judge. It's working. And he is sleeping.


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I Speak the Language of Uuuuuuuugh

I tell ya.

Recently I realized that not only do I make fantastic banana bread and have great looking feet, but that I am also trilingual. So yeah, I speak pretty gooder English than most, and of course I am a certified American Sign Language Interpreter, which means yes, I am awesome fluent, but, now I am super awesome excited because I am in fact trilingual! Do you know what that means? It means I can apply for a job with the FBI, or I can be a ninja, or I can win it all on Jeopardy (is that show still on? Is Alex Trebek OK?? And wait, ninjas don't speak, do they? Dern!) So what third language is it you ask? Well my friends, it is the language of Uuuuuuuugh.

And the language of Uuuuuuuugh is super amazing and important, because after answering 8 billion "why" questions all day, and doling out insightful lecture after lecture to the children, and thinking up blog posts that people might want to read, and chatting with my hubby and others about our day/life etc., I have no English skillz left. Every object becomes a "thing" and I can barely get out "ya know?" when trying to explain what the "thing" is. Ya know?

And believe me, Uuuuuuuugh is easy to learn, yet not as easy to interpret, because there are a bazillion dialects and accents and variances and lexical preferences and things and stuff like that. I would bet like, nothing, because I don't bet, but really I would bet that all of you speak Uuuuuuuugh too! You're all, "um, hmmmm." because you aren't sure right? That's when I say, "psh, duh!" and you're all, "ahhha!" See?

It's like this; it's bed time, time for TV shows, video games and fun. But see, I always forget to do a few things before I retire, so I am constantly getting up to do these things as they come to mind. So when I have no ability to speak anymore because I have used up all my words and I am so tired, I start to communicate in Uuuuuuuugh:

10pm -"Ahhhhhh" = get in bed, give a half-smile to hubby, and I am ready to relax.

10:05pm - "Aaaaaugh, nnnn *grunt* *sigh*" = no, not a fart, but getting out of bed to get my water.

10:15pm - "Grrrrrr! Blech, pbbbbft..." = me getting out of bed to get my phone because I want to call my mom. I manage to say some real words and send love to my sweet sweet mom, but it takes everything I have out of me.

10:45pm - "Eeeeeeouchie! Ohhhhhmanuuughmmm..." = my back starting to hurt from getting up and down three times in 45 minutes, but I can't let the zits win! Must kill them! I slather on the zit cream.

11:20pm - "ARGH! *sigh* *wimper*" = me cursing my bladder, up to pee.

11:25pm - *slapping forhead* "Blarging cripes!" = forgot to brush my teeth when going pee, so I am up, again.

11:45pm - "Hmmmm...eh? Mmmmmuuuugh!" = getting up because I need to turn the light off that the kids left on to scare away monsters, namely Gollum...

12:00am - "Brrrrrrrrr! Mmmmmmnnngh! Mmmnicenessmm..." = I am cold so I get up just enough to fish the heating pad off the floor and plug it into the nearest outlet.

12:15 -"*zzzzSNORT!* *cough! cough!* Nooooooowhyyyyyyackgrrrrrrrmmmmmfffffbbblmmm" = me dozing off and nearly suffocating because I forgot to use my nasal spray, so now I have to get up and get some before I pass out.

12:30am - "mmmmgntmmmmzzzzzzz" = me saying goodnight to my hubby, who all night long would ask me, "what are you doing?" every time I made a sound and left the room, because he cannot speak Uuuuuuuugh, unfortunately.

OK so, well, maybe he isn't the only one that doesn't understand Uuuuuuuugh, or this post for that matter, but really, I thought this was pretty interesting and fascinating. I also like to pick glue off my hands.

Maybe if I just shut up I can still be a ninja. Hmmmmyeah, ummm psh. Der.




Friday, November 13, 2009

FANTASTIC FLASHBACK FRIDAY FUNNESS!

So this week I had a mole removed from my face. OK. Go ahead...

*CRINGE!*

Yes, I had three needle sticks in my cheek, right into my "Marylin Monroe" mole, and then a supa supa sharp razor sliced it right off my face...

*SCREAM! FAINT! WAKE UP! SCREAM AGAIN! HEAVE! SHAKE! CRY AND WAIL!*

Or, just say, "oh" 'cause you're tough and you really aren't fond of drama and theatrics...

Point being, I got the mole cut off because it was turning into a "growth" in that it was losing the pigment and was just becoming a mound of flesh that threatened to start growing a couple of big, thick, black hairs once I reached 40, kinda like a little porcupine taking up residence on my face.

So, I will, no matter what I do, probably have to live with a scar. That's OK. I am covered in scars, not figuratively, literally; from my stretch marks to my other mole removals, to my c-section scar, they adorn my body like battle wounds.

And what an awesome segue into my...

FANTASTIC FLASHBACK FRIDAY FUNNESS!Man, the cat is either freaked out by my mole removal, or HE got a mole removed, without Novocaine. Ouch.

So here's a post for ya'all to enjoy about dealing with our imperfections...have a great weekend and enjoy!




***
John Mayer Better Wonder More...

I think John Mayer is amazing, lyrically brilliant. He is a must-have staple for road trips and it should be a law that his music is played over and over in coffee shops on both the East and West coasts. I have never been to a concert, but if I ever get to go, I hope it’s to one of his…or Alison Krauss and Robert Plant…but I digress…

Anyway, even with all the accolades I could shower on this young man (young, ugh) who is definitely wise (lyrically, I must stress) beyond his Hollywood tainted years, there is one song I always skip. I don’t think I have even heard it all the way through but more than once or twice, not by choice (ok coffee shops, I can’t dictate ALL the rules), and the song is, “Your Body is a Wonderland.”

I have to admit pictures of theme parks spring into my mind, not any kind we could take the family to, but this song bugs me mostly because he claims it is written about one of his ex girlfriends (ewww). For some reason this information grosses me out in the same way that you get grossed out when you find out how you came to be on this planet, and that it involved your mom and dad, doing things…

So I really don’t want to know about her wonderland-ness, and actually I don’t think he goes into detail like he is capable of doing (I vaguely remember something about bubble gum, and his hands, which is not her body…hmmmm), so that is good. But really, this ex girlfriend was/is a young, childless freak-of-nature so, with his talent and take on life, I think he should rewrite the song once he gets married, and his wife pushes out a few or ten kids, then I want to hear the song.

See, you can’t hear a song like this, or a title like that, as a mom, and not change it to “Your Body is a Topographical Relief Map”, it’s just too easy a jump, unless you’re Brooke Burke. Something has to be wrong with her, like, she has to shave her back every day or she suffers from explosive gas or something…

OK OK…let me run through the disclaimer that yes, I am thankful for my body and that everything works and it allowed me to have two beautiful children and all that…BUT, this is about the topographical relief part…and it is graphic, and there is no relief, should you decide to keep reading…

I remember a story I read some time ago about a mom, who had twins, dressing in a locker room after a swim at the local pool. Two teenagers were standing in their bras and undies in front of the mirror, scrutinizing every “flaw” they saw and lamenting their misfortune of disfigurement. The mom couldn’t take it anymore and with only her towel on, walked over and flashed the girls in an attempt to make them “thankful” for what they had and DIDN’T have. The girls were horrified, and she said she was pretty sure they would never have kids after that experience.

I have now been both of those people, the teen that saw imaginary flaws and now the mom who has these “battle scars” that I try to wear proudly at the pool. Do any of you have any of these?

-Flesh-colored corduroy shorts that are actually my thighs.

-Lumps and bumps that have been coined, “cellulite”, a term that is not actually scientifically recognized, so I don’t’ recognize it either.

-Scars. No one has to see my c-section scar, but let me just say this second one is SO much better than the first, which looked like a worm crawling across my lower stomach.

-Other scars. I have to mention all my gouges from mole removals, because these are still big and purple, which contrast greatly with my legs, which are the color of death…

-Minimal muscle tone. OK this is purely my fault, but if I washed my hair more, which would make me do more squats and hold a heavy dryer, I’d have cleaner hair, shapelier thighs and maybe some tricep definition…

-“Cankles” So…I am not 100% sure I have these because my legs don’t often see the light of day. I actually think my ankles are for someone with a size 9 shoe, when I wear a 7 ½…

-The “girls” up top. Mine were always "small and humble", as I think Shakira once said of her’s, but at least they used to stay in place. Now, they are slightly bigger, but they certainly have no elastic integrity, and I am pretty sure they could fit into any mold I placed them into and they would fill in all the crevices. I think they are going to be perfect for mammograms.

-My neck. I am nearing 35 at an alarming rate, and my neck is like, “I am SO THERE!” This, of all my vain concerns, scares me the most. I think necks are so ugly when they are “old” and there’s not much you can do about it, like grow a beard or wear turtlenecks everyday. I slather all kinds of stuff on it, but I already have to two “collapsed veins” so I know it’s all downhill from here.

-My face. Now my face is a different story. On a good, rested day I can still pass for a chick in my 20’s. But, the main reason why this is so is because I still have ZITS! Like, a TON of zits! Nothing aggravates me more! I went through high school with porcelain skin and became a woman with adult acne. I call myself “lava face” because it seems as one big zit rises up, pops, and goes away, another one bubbles up right in its place. It is a constant battle to rid my face of these things, and I am hoping my 40’s will be such a hormonal turnaround that they go away FOREVER. Is it really that bad, you ask? Well, when your kids ask you if you have the Chicken Pox…yeah, I think it is…

-And lastly my hair. This is a cruel joke my follicles are playing on me, because the gray hairs that are sprouting are not willing to wear any hair dye I slap on my head. I am not ready to have gray hair in any way shape or form, so I am going to have to try some experiments, short of plucking them out, to get them covered and out of my visage…

So, John, while you are awesome, and I love your music, you have a lot of life-learnin’ to do, and I hope you will still be singing this song to your wife, with the same earnest sentiment, in about 15 years…

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

If Duran Duran were in the Fellowship of the Rings, Would They Have Fought with Musical Instruments?

A few days ago I opened our front door to grab the mail, ya know the mail that is SO exciting to open, bills, junk mail, bills...And maybe it was the southern wind, or the golden sunshine that had warmed the mailbox, but I got a strong whiff of the local inserts, that familiar ink and glossy paper smell, and suddenly I was thrust back into time, remembering my obsession with any magazine that held a picture, or 300, of Duran Duran.

For a split-second I remembered that prepubescent excitement of wondering what the pages would hold...totally convinced my $2.50 was well, well spent.

Oh my goodness did you have this poster!?! I so did! Look at the bomber jackets and that hair! OK, so Nick Rhodes was definitely the most out there with his 80's glam get-up but still...I really only stared at John Taylor anyway, to drool over, and Nick for make-up tips to accentuate the cheek bones...Simon was OK sometimes, I mean, he did hold the title of Lead Singer, but poor Andy and that other guy (Randy? Ronald? Something with an R?), they were just sort of there for, who knows what. Musical support I guess.

Two totally random thoughts to ponder; I am pretty sure they are still married to their model-wives, the same women they married in the 1980's and, isn't it weird that most band members keep all of their hair? Only a few metal rockers come to mind who have had hair that migrated. But think about it, isn't it weird? Anyway...

How big is the average kid's bedroom, 8x10 feet? That sounds right eh? Well, my one wall, was COVERED with Duran Duran posters. There was not one spot that didn't have a thumbnail photo cut out, or a big ol' poster. Every 2D eye stared right at me. Obviously the smell triggered a strong response because back then I was constantly nose to paper thinking, "wow, they are sooooooooooo cool. I loooooooooove them!" At age 9, I might have needed an intervention...I am resisting clicking the "become a fan" button on their website because uh, I am 35 and well, I actually don't care anymore, 'cause I have my own Hotty McHot Hottie to drool over, and he doesn't mind when I stare at him. And he smells better than paper.

But going back to loving an image and idea of some person when I was a kid, well, it was for the most part innocent and fun. However, looking back it would have been nice to have one of those parent-to-child talks about how there are more to people than their looks and to pay attention to the attributes of a person, especially a real person. Sure I would have rolled my eyes while I was slapping up another poster but, maybe, just maybe, it would have helped me steer clear of the bad choices I made in who I decided to drool over in my science class and in the halls at lunch time. Until I met my hubby, I was attracted to very cute, and very mean boys. Thank goodness I scored big time, seriously.

So anyway, just blabbing about all of this and thinking back, since Audge told me recently that she thinks Legolas is "very handsome" and I realized that, oh yeah, the time is coming...

Now Legolas OK...I can deal with that...even though he's a little pale, and he is an elf. But unlike my Duran Duran musings, at least her "crush" is brave and valiant and stuff. Actually, he looks pretty kick-butt here, not in a Han Solo kind of way, but maybe somewhere between Fabio, Neo, and Rambo...OH NO!





Which leads me to my main point (I think) that hubby and I are trying to make sure that at this age she knows for certain how she should be treated, and to have that guide her heart and not some boy's pretty eyes or flirty smile or even the compliments she receives from him.

Audge and daddy went on their "first date" a while back, and she still gets stars in her eyes when she talks about it; she dressed in her fanciest dress, received a bouquet of roses, and went out to a lovely Italian restaurant. She had blue cheese on her appetizers and enjoyed a table-side magic show AND a huge slice of chocolate cake, which my hubby graciously let her finish nearly all of on her own.

We want to make sure she knows, and that Jacob knows, that all people are worth our time and consideration, and so are they, no matter what they look like. We want to do our best to be good examples to them of how they should be treated, especially by the people they become attracted to and when they are considering a mate. And of course it's not all about roses and blue cheese and magic shows, but whoever they choose to love I pray they are people that have my kids' best interests in mind and they lift Jake and Audge up, not break them down, and that my kids offer the same back. Cause if not I will SO go all Rambo/Neo/Fabio on them, and it won't be pretty.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Homeschool Workout

So I have had a weird week ya'all, with that other blog, with MY name, talking about male enhancement drugs; Google alerts has been all, "do you see this kim? Can you believe I am alerting you to this?" Anyway...

I got my blog roll back (yes! Cabbage Patch!) but I haven't perused my fave blogs lately, and I have been trying to get back on track with home schooling, being sick that week really did set us back. And at the moment, I have a son who is staring at the clock instead of his multiplication problems. And guess what I am doing? I am sitting, and now blogging, because I don't want to pull my hair out.

And sitting is what I do, mostly, when schooling. I mean, we do projects and things outside the home but, when it is time to hunker down and get some serious bookwork done, I don't leave the table. See I read somewhere that when you're teaching you shouldn't be emptying the dishwasher or plucking your eyebrows or stuff like that, you need to be alert and on task to make sure your children are working at a nice pace, at least at these younger ages. However I have to be careful because then I might start hovering and saying, "focus and do your math!" every three minutes, because someone is staring out the window or trying to eat their pencil.

So you all have heard that fidgeting burns calories, right? Approximately 350 extra calories per day can be used up just by shaking your legs, tapping your toes or banging your head against a wall due to frustration. Taking this into consideration, I have just now come up with a new, original, and exciting, never-before-seen-or-thought-of-by-anyone-ever, AND effective, and addicting, AND amazing exercise regime that will sweep the nation, because it can be utilized easily and successfully by us home school moms during days like this, or even those who sit at a desk all day. And you can be sure this works because I am highly qualified, and I know exactly what I am talking about, and though I haven't tested this program and cannot guarantee that it works or that it won't cause permanent injury, I endorse it because it's free and hey, why would you really listen to me anyway? Here we go...

KIM'S SIT AND FIDGET YOUR WAY TO AWESOME SLIMNESS EXERCISE PROGRAM!

-For 5 minutes lift your heels off the ground, with your toes on the ground, repeatedly and squeeze your calves. Sometimes music helps you with this. My friend Kearsie might recommend Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus, but I do not. Holding your ears and writhing in pain doesn't burn as many calories.

-For 5 minutes tighten and release your glutes, holding for 20 and resting for 10. You may not be able to walk after this, but is a good exercise for excessive gas issues...

-For 5 minutes, while sitting up straight and holding your stomach in, raise your legs straight out and then lower them back down, flexing your thighs and holding for a second when legs are extended; point your toes to intensify the burn. Do not eat a candy bar while doing this, it just negates all your efforts.

-For 5 minutes hold legs straight out, and open and close legs while flexing every muscle you got, even if it's just two, or one. Do this 25 times then rest for 10 seconds and repeat, unless you're gassy, then refer back to the glute exercise.

This is 30 min of activity folks! My son doesn't even finish a math page within that time! Imagine how fit I am gonna be, and better yet how fit YOU'RE gonna be! Tell me if it works for you! I promise not to send you a bill. Peace out.


Monday, November 2, 2009

Insanity Mondays

So I have had a freak-out day today!

I found another blog with the SAME EXACT NAME as mine!!!

And, it's like, nothing I would ever write about; this site ya' all, is NOT ME! No way, not me, nuh-uh.

But, I find it so weird, like, I would think that two people coming up with the same exact blog name, one like mine anyway, would be less of a statistical chance than getting hit by lightening, or winning the lotto, or getting abducted by aliens, don't you think?

(shhhhh...I am freaked ya'all!)

I had someone tell me today not to get too freaked about it, but, I am the one who thought she was exposed to Anthrax after getting a letter from her aunt in NJ, right before that post office was closed due to the Anthrax scare.

See, I had a fever so...

And, there were these post-pregnancy hormones I was dealing with...

But anyway...

So I have been like, debating what I should do!

So I did a lot of "self-blog-preservation" stuff for my blog today...

AND I LOST MY BLOG ROLL! SOOOOOOOB!

Sigh...there's some other problems too. Panicking often leads to error.

At least that is what Prince Humperdink says...

Do you think this is passive-aggressive? I mean, it probably is, right? (panicking)

At least I am 110% sure that I had the name first, although you all should be satisfied with just 100% certainty...when did 100% lose its credibility, anyway??

If I could go back in time I would have changed some things.

Just like Audge said this weekend, "ya know, you need one of those backwards machines." Jacob responded, "no, scientists can't do that stuff," to which she said, "maybe your head is smarter than your brain." Words to live by.

(panicking)

Would you contact this person? I don't know. I am thinking just letting you all know if you try to look me up and get that site that, um, again, it's not meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


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