Tuesday Twitters

I am still dealing with the painfully slow, want-to-rip-my-hair-out-because-of-it Internet. That whole "patience is a virtue thing"? Yeah, I am oooooooooozing virtuous patience...

Oh wait, pretend one of those cute Geek and Poke cartoons is up there...I can't upload/download/whatever them...

My son was helping my dad carry in the groceries when he said, "mom, I don't think I'll be able to eat these...they are baby BAT ribs!"

You know what joy is? I'll tell you; NO SALES TAX!

Until, however, you go to the Saturday Market and pay NINE DOLLARS for two ice cream bars for your kids...then it's like, who the heck cares?

I was flashed a gang sign on the road; I had pulled up too far in my car, and then pulled back a bit for a guy walking across the street. I gave him the, "hi, I see you, sorry!" wave and he shot me some weird gang sign, and I can say that, since I am fairly fluent in sign language, because I did not recognize it, therefore it had to be gang. Then he rubbed his hands all over the car next to me before walking away. Ahahahahaah! Sometimes I forget where I am...

And yeah, I have told my kids several times to STOP STARING AT PEOPLE who are yelling at other people in other cars...it's just not safe anymore.

I am maintaining my tan...in Alaska...that says a lot, seriously...

We went to the Alaska Experience theater, which has a screen that wraps 180 degrees around the amphitheater. Then I read a sign on the wall that said if you have too much "experience" while the movie is on to please dispose of it in the many small garbage containers sitting at the end of each row. That's great to read on the wall, with a room full of people, eating popcorn., and two kids, who get carsick/airsick or start to heave at the word, "vomit". Well the story ends there. We made it through.

Did I mention I am sleeping in my old bedroom, with my two kids, and have done so for a month, and I am actually sleeping, and my neck is totally better? Amazing, eh?

I almost ran over some Russian tourists' dog today in a parking lot. But I made up for it by helping them pay for their parking place. Well, I didn't give them the money, but, maybe I should have...

I think I am allergic to pine trees.

Oh, and there are a lot of flies here, like, I mean, a LOT! I have problems with bugs ya know, and I really don't remember these...or the small black jumping bugs at the park...I also forgot how much the mosquitoes hurt as they jab you and take out a pint of blood. My son, who is allergic to them, has looked like Quasimodo one too many times...

It's 11:30 and perfectly light out. Ummm, P.M.!

I am totally loving seeing my family and friends. And the mountains. And the fresh air. And the water. And my hubby gets here today! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!

Wow, I made it through posting this post! Thanks to w. for helping me out this past week...I shall be back in full force posting/commenting very soon. I miss ya'all, sniff!! Thanks for not leaving me, um, those who haven't...yet...

i'm not kimmy

so hi! i'm w. and i've just hijacked this blog. i'm good like that. well. not really. kimmy asked me to be a guest blogger. wait. no. she asked me to be a special guest blogger.

i wonder what she meant by "special".

this is the thing. kimmy's internet access is limited these days. mainly because she's in the foreign country called alaska. and unfortunately, her connection to the world wide web isn't so hot. hmmm. maybe because it's so cold there. or maybe it's because of the moose. plural moose. not capital 'the' moose.

so anyway. when kimmy asked me to contribute a post, she didn't exactly give me parameters. well. other than "please don't lose my readers" and "please don't talk about the farts".

naturally, with those two restrictions in mind, i had a difficult time coming up with the perfect guest blogger post. until it hit me. dude. this blog is all about parenting - insanity and bliss. i can totally write about that.

...

yesterday, my baby woke up at 2:00am to be fed. (parenting)
my toddler heard her. so she decided it was time to wake up as well. (insanity)
my husband slept soundly in our bed. (bliss)

...

thanks for stopping by! please don't stop reading kimmy's blog. i'll talk about the farts if you want me to.

This Just In...

So, with all the coverage in the news, and all the hype and all the concern, and all the questions and all boogly-boo-doo and run-on-sentences I am writing to say...

I have been exposed to Swine Flu!!! I was with said Swine Flu person for 4 hours, and left just two hours before said person was knocked down with fever and all the awful symptoms. And here I thought I would have more chance of exposure on the plane! Poor, poor friend. Resting at home and hopefully on the up and up.

Oh the drama...

The gasping and wailing, especially since...I...am...now...SICK!!!

Really, after I got over my initial shock, dismay and freak-out moment, I realized it is just the inconvenience of it all that is bothering me. I have a huge test to take this Sunday, one I cannot skip out on, so I must be well. My son was already sick with something (the kid just loves touching the inside of his nose waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much) but I am sure it's not THE Swine Flu. However, we ran out to the Urgent Treament Center, got checked and our noses swabbed (hard to believe my son hated it so much, considering that is where his finger is most of the time!) we are on 10 days of Tamiflu as a precaution (mostly because hubby, who will be here soon, gets pnemonia very easily when sick), since I was in such close proximity, but I am sure you won't get it by reading my post....pretty sure anyway...

So just writing to say, flu is flu, and having flu in the summer is lame, so, whether you get a flu shot every year or not, WASH YOUR HANDS, COVER YOUR COUGHS WITH YOUR ELBOW, and for the LOVE PLEASE STAY IN IF YOU'RE SICK!!! I will not accept blog comments unless you wash your hands before typing...

At least the internet is working right now.

Why Dads Are Cool

I shall now take my inspiration from fictional dads depicted in movies/TV to explain why dads are so cool...

- He will dress up as an old Scottish woman who hosts an infectious children's show, in order to infiltrate his ex-wife's house to spy on/babysit his children.

- He uses paper towels as diapers.

- He will save you from aliens/dead people/dinosaurs/spiders that crawl out of people's noses...

- He will succumb to all your wedding wishes, even when he can't bond with the flamboyant coordinator who has that impossible accent.

- He will fight Nazis with you, even though he named you after the family dog.

- He will save you from terrorists who kidnapped you, all while flexing his amazing muscles.

- Once he sees you dance, he will support your dropping out of high school to dance on TV with your boyfriend.

- He'll hold the security guard at the amusement park at gun point just so you can ride all the rides as a family...for free...

- He'll let you become a human to marry the hot guy you met while sneaking around near the beach...

-Again, once he sees you dance, he won't care that you were shacking up with the hot, shirtless dance teacher instead of eating sweet gherkins with the owner's creepy nephew during your family's summer vacation.

- He repeatedly allows you to move back home, when you drop out of college, lose your job, get married without telling anyone, or need a loan to buy your own house. He'll even let the cousin move in and eventually allow her to have her own spin-off show, along with his daughter...

- He just happens to be Jack Bauer.

Happy Father's Day dads! You're all pretty awesome!

Tuesday Twitters; Tweets on a Plane

I spent 8 hours total on planes last Tuesday...if I twittered during the flights, this is how it would have gone down...

-On our way to Alaska! Hoping to not see Dying Burping Man at any point of this trip.

-FYI, anti-puke meds are the best invention of the 20th century!

-I am seriously missing my husband already...

-Have I mentioned I hate flying?

-CRAPAZOLA WHAT WAS THAT? Oh, the landing gear...

-We survived the tiny airplane flight. Thank you Lord!

-I just navigated the Atlanta airport and boarded the next flight with two kids and three backpacks, and for those who know me well, that is AMAZING!

-Did they just tell passengers to store their laptops in the overhead compartments? Psh.

-No wait, digital TV on the back of the headrests is the BEST invention of the 20th century!

-My most important goal for this plane ride is to not develop a DVT.

-Wait, now my most important goal is to keep my 8-year-old's eyes away from that woman who is watching the steamy sex scene....that.never.ends...turn on the food channel for the love of Pete!

-Oh no, AND my daughter away from the OTHER woman watching multiple breast augmentations! ACK!

-Like, on several women, not multiple breasts on one woman, being augmented...just clarifying.

-That doc must feel like everyday is his birthday...he is unwrapping balloons, every day of his life.

-Man, this plane has turned into a "boob tube". Bada-ching!

-Help me.

-I don't know what is freaking me out more, the guy with the mask on, OR the fact that he keeps taking it off...I am not mentally prepared to rationalize his rationale.

-Oh my goodness...my 8-year-old used the bathroom (freak out number one) and came out and down the aisle with his pants undone (freak out number 2, as in succession, not defecation).

-What in the WORLD is this food? Is that chicken? Tofu? It's like, um, half cold, and I can't tell if it's BBQ or Mexican. Good call kids...don't bring it near your lips!

-Did the stewardess just SAVE our mystery meat Mexican BBQ meals that were not opened...people, DON'T EAT THE "FOOD"!!!!

-Interesting. I now have Dancing, Possibly Drunk Man in front of me. He can't keep his head out of the aisle! One minute he is talking and just sitting there, the next, he is hearing music that I cannot hear, dancing in a dangerous way, a way that will get him knocked out by the beverage cart!

-Ohhh soda! GIMME GIMME GIMME!

-Speaking of music, I tried to listen to Britney's Circus album. Then I promptly switched to Mariah Carey's power ballads. Oh yeah. I am 35.

-Did you know Canada doesn't get any digital reception? I am torn on whether this is a good thing or a bad thing...

-I had to use the bathroom THREE TIMES! I barely had enough hand sanitizer to live through it!

-OK that turbulence was REALLY hard to lie through for my kids.

-See, because when the stewardess says, "you heard the captain, strap into those seat belts now!" it's hard to convince the kids she is just being silly.

-The passengers are CLAPPING because we landed...does that say anything?

-Ahhhh...good to be home!

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!

Hooray to HODGEPODGESPV with a secret name that I don't know! You won my giveaway! Happy dance, woot woot!

And I HAVE INTERNET AT THE COFFEE SHOP! TODAY IS A DAY FOR CAPITAL LETTERS!

Ok...gonna catch up with my life, and will write all the stuff I promised...peace out!!!

A New Form of Torture

We have made it to Alaska! I have a lot to write about, including the dangers of breast augmentations on airplanes, Rockin' Out but Possibly Drunk Man, my ability to ruin a stranger's vacation plans, the wonders of motion sickness pills, a person who was half-way committed to being freaked out by Swine Flu (that person was NOT me, I am fully committed, FYI) and internet as slow as snot on a freezing winter's night!

I can't even load pictures the connection here is SO PAINFULLY SLOW! You would THINK we traveled by dogsled and lived in igloos by the speed of the Internet! I am not sure I will be able to take a month of this kind of technology! It's hard to believe people really live like this! I have a new appreciation for anyone blogging this far north. You must have alien technology powering your connection, so I need to either be adopted into your family, or I need to start mailing out my posts, for quicker delivery to faithful readers, via carrier pigeon..it took me FOURTEEN HOURS to load this post. OK, not really, it just felt that way.

Yeah, you want to ruin someone's life, ok, MY life? Give me slow internet. No internet would be better than this frozen snot internet connection...OK maybe not. I don't know. Have I mentioned how overly tired I am? Jet lag and slow internet connections, the new form of torture...

ANYWAY I promise to write soon on all these amazing experiences, albeit without pictures. For the LOVE I can't even look up "albeit" to make sure I am using it right since I am so tired I can barely type so if it's wrong just cut me a break for now ok? Wow that was an amazing sentence. I am fun when I am tired! Sheesh. Oh yeah! And will announce the winner of the giveaway in two days! I better stop now.

Peace out ya'all!

Tuesday Twitters; The Dream Edition

I am a prolific dreamer, so, I have saved up some dreams to compile for this here TT's segment. Enjoy!

- I dreamt I was holding a baby deer, not sure why, just was. And it was SO cute! But then, I somehow became lucid in my dream, and started freaking out about fleas and deer ticks and other contagious zoonotic diseases. And, even though no one else wanted to hold it, I was able to overcome those fears to keep holding the sweet, sweet baby deer...

-I dreamt I went into space on the space shuttle! Of course we started by barreling down a highway, and we almost crashed into a mountain, and it only took us about 3 minutes to get into space...I even experienced that part where leaving the atmosphere and entering space is supposed to be a bit of a "struggle" and I thought my head was going to explode. I was mad though, because we went during the day, and the sun was too bright, so I couldn't see anything out of the HUGE shuttle windows...??

-I recently had my recurring dream of desperately needing to pee with no bathroom in sight. But, as always, I eventually find one, however it's flooded, or there is no door, or toilet paper, or it is covered in anything from bugs to other people's poo, or it's right out in the middle of a public gathering, like a high-school dance. Thank goodness I never actually find a suitable toilet!

- Do you ever have those dreams where you try to run and it's like you have 50 pound weights on your ankles? And it's always imperative that I run because someone is chasing me, or I am late to something, yet for the life of me I cannot run.

-I dreamt I lost my kids. Isn't that like THE worst dream to have? It's unbearable! Then you wake up feeling like the WORST parent in the universe, and wonder if this reflects on your parenting skills. Then you remembered you also dreamed about visiting outer space...

- I dreamt that I lived in/near/around the mountains. Not sure though, this one was fuzzy. Must have been those Bear Grylls shows all my friends are talking about. What do they see in this guy? He eats off of Zebra carcasses! I mean, yeah, your name is Bear but c'mon! Zebra meat, all up in yo' grylls? Sheesh...

-I have another recurring dream where I am back working at the coffee shop I used to manage, working for my same terrible boss, over17 years ago. I am always shocked that I am back there, and how everything is the same, including my terrible wages and stomach cramps at his mere presence, but I just step right into my old routine. This last time though, no customers came in and I was told the store was getting ready to close, permanently...ahhh, this may be the end of my Barrista career, my friends!!!

- I am happy to report my jiggy dreams involve my HUSBAND! Not trying to make anyone feel like, guilty if their dreams involve Orlando Bloom or Brad Pitt or Edward or Bear "who eats raw zebra" Grylls or whoever (especially if they like it that way), I am just saying, I wake up with ZERO guilt, and I like that...

Please Lord Save Us from Pukes and Dying Burping Guy

Well, by the time you read Tuesday Twitters on um, Tuesday, the kids and I will be on our way to the Last Frontier, yep, Alaska! For a whole month! I have been running around like a crazy woman, cleaning, packing, cleaning, packing, whilst the kiddos ask over and over which day we are leaving, again...

Hubby will soon follow, and we shall miss him terribly as he studies and studies.

So for now, I ask anyone who is willing to send us some prayers for safe and easy travels, you'll see why we need it if you read my last post about traveling alone with kids. And, here it is for you to enjoy, either again, or for the first time! Will be back on line as soon as possible, with many stories and pictures to share!

PUKES ON A PLANE

I don’t like flying. Which is perfect because I don’t like to travel either…but recently a change in our life has required that if we want to see people we love, we will have to get on a plane quite often. In my lifetime I have only been on a plane about 10 times. Frequent-Flier miles up ‘til now have been wasted on me…

But, not only do I have to deal with MY issues with flying, I now have to deal with two little ones, who not only have the dislike of flying like I do, but they have a very undesirable response to it as well -- puking.

We packed up only a few belongings and moved to a new state so my hubby could attend a doctoral program in business. This move required him to leave first for orientation and to secure our apartment, leaving me to travel alone with two kids to places I have never been. The thought of navigating airports, bags, tickets, and emotions while not losing two kids (who even hate riding in cars) was sometimes more than I could imagine handling.

But, inevitably the day came, and after tears and hugs goodbye, we made it through security and boarded the plane for a 7-hour flight to our new home. Yes…seven hours straight, after which we had a small lay-over and a short, 20-minute flight.

So, as always, I tried to plan as best as possible. I decided a night flight would be best, as sleepiness would overtake my kids and we would arrive without much incident via a dark, quiet plane ride. I brought games, bought headphones for the first movie, and had plenty of hand sanitizer on hand. Everything else, I quickly realized, was out of my control. Here’s how it went, from Shrek III to puking…

9pm: Board the plane, find seats, store all three busting-at-the-seams backpacks, size up the “company” around us and who is gonna bug who, strategically place the kids.

9:15pm: I am holding back tears from the reality of what is happening, which is not hard because the kids are:
Squirming
Fighting with the seat belts
Fighting with each other
Ripping up the airplane magazines
Asking if we are there yet
Pushing every button they see
Complaining they are too hot/too cold
Opening/shutting the window shade
Pulling everything out of their backpacks
Asking if we are there yet…

9:30pm: The plane takes off. Audrey loves it. Jacob is asking if he can get off the plane, now...fits their personalities perfectly! They are already completely bored with the toys/games we have packed.

10:30pm: Movie has begun. Oh! Shrek III! We…just…saw…this. So, no novelty there, but the headphones seem to be exciting, and they cause kids to raise their voice levels to screaming. Sleeping passengers love us. I am hoping kids fall asleep soon.

11:00pm: Kids have eaten snacks, annoyed most of the people around us, and show no signs of sleeping. Jacob cannot make peace with his headphones. Audrey develops a fever.

11:15pm: I am cursing myself because I did NOT pack the chewable Tylenol in my backpack. Audrey is not well and it is obvious. ARGH!

11:45pm: Movie is over. I am exhausted and needing sleep. Audrey is whining in the aisle seat, and the man across from her ain’t lookin’ so good either. Jacob breaks his headphones.

12 am: I am praying for sleep as the kids kick off their shoes and attempt to lay all over me with pillows, sweaters and the static-filled airplane blankets. Jacob starts to cry that he has no room, Audrey still has a fever, and the guy in the aisle takes off his top shirt to expose his thin white tee and beer belly…oh my gosh is he burping? Is he DYING??? Yes, take more of WHATEVER you are taking! Gas-X, nitro-glycerin…whatever, TAKE IT!!!

1am: Dying Burping Guy stands up in the aisle, with his backside right next to my poor sick child’s head. She is only four, but she is MORTIFIED! As am I. We move and squirm around, trying to position the kids to “sleep” as all my body parts become numb. I am praying I don’t develop a DVT condition.

2am: They are serving dinner. WHAT??? The smell of BAD Mexican airplane food engulfs the plane, and Dying Burping Guy sits down TO EAT! Why, God, why?

3am: Lots of whining and, “are we there yet?”, “I have no room!” ,“get off my leg!”, “I have no blanket!”, and, "I don't like that guy!" statements are made. The kids complain, too.

4am: I realize sleep at this point is never gonna happen, and the five minutes of shut-eye they are getting here and there are only causing all of us to have body cramps. Oh yeah, by this time I have endured “The Bucket List” and “Walk the Line” without headphones.

5am: Dying Burping Guy is back to standing up after eating the Mexican food, and I am praying it just continues to be burps and nothing else...

6am: The end is in sight! Soon we will be in a terminal waiting for the last 20-minute leg of our journey! It has not been easy and…

6:30am: Audrey has to go potty. Now. NOOOOOOOOOOO! If there is anything I hate in this world, it is a germy, dirty, small airplane bathroom. I must take both kids in at the same time. Have you SEEN that Jodi Foster movie? Come on, now…

Here we go…
I choose the bathroom Dying Burping Guy has NOT been visiting…point for me!
We barely fit
Jacob is whining
I am trying to keep the hand sanitizer close by
Stewardesses hear repeatedly from our stall, “put your hands on your heads! Don’t touch anything!” Is an arrest taking place?
I am lining the toilet with ten layers of TP
I am trying to protect all parts of Audrey’s clothing and body from the toilet, as I squish poor Jacob against the door
The girl…has…diarrhea
Paper is as thick as air
Jacob is NOT happy
I can’t move to do anything without exposing us to MORE germs
GERMS GERMS GERMS!
I am now in my own horror movie…Jodi, you got nuthin' on me…

This happens one more time, by the way…

7am: Getting ready to land, Dying Burping Guy made it, and so did we.

In the terminal, Audrey seems a little better fever-wise, but is complaining about her tummy. I am trying to hold it all together, and as we wait, I provide sprite and fish crackers, which both kids down very quickly. Audrey says she feels better, I explain we have a 20-minute flight left, once we find our gate.

At this point I am weary from no sleep, BUT I am sure I have not developed any clots in my legs AND I am able to navigate the airport and the shuttle ,with all of my precious cargo, to the next plane, a 20-seater, which has about as much room as the bathroom in the previous jet.

8:30am: I am trying to keep the kids motivated by telling them that they will see daddy very soon as I struggle with their seat belts and position myself in the seat across the aisle from them.

8:35am: Plane takes off…this, even in my little experience of flying, I know is not a good take-off. I am thinking LOST at this point.

8:40am: In the air! I am thinking , "woohoo, we are almost there!" I look across the aisle at my two kids. To my horror, Audrey is PUKING up buckets of fish crackers and sprite, conveniently into her overall bib pocket. Jacob is frozen in fear, not able to take his eyes off of her, and begins to heave...

8:41am: I am out of my seat, with wipes and the puke bag, trying to contain the endless vomit streaming from my daughter’s mouth, AND empty the chunky bib pocket contents neatly into a bag as she manages to say,“I’m sorry mama” again and again, which breaks my heart.

8:45am: How is the flight attendant, who is like, 2 feet away, NOT noticing me out of my seat, or the smell that is permeating the entire plane? I ignore that we are now preparing to LAND as I take Audrey’s shirt off, throw it in a bag to discard, clean up her overalls as best as possible, and hold a puke bag for heaving Jacob at the same time. The people across from us just sit with enduring looks on their faces. I realize we are worse than Dying Burping Guy.

We land and everyone around us is relieved, though no one dared help or even look at us during this time. I hand the carnage to the attendant who says, “oh I’m sorry, were they OK?” Whatever lady. Just get me off the plane.

I give Audrey my cardigan and we limp into the terminal to find my well-rested hubby, all bubbly and excited to see us. I have not slept now in almost 24 hours. We smell like puke, and I am missing home. I cried for the next 5 hours straight.

I now know to pack extra shirts, lots of baggies, and to be ready for the inevitable during a flight. I hope Dying Burping Guy is OK.

One of My Faves...

Hey! I have hit 100 followers! WOOOHOOO! I love all y'all, seriously!!! Glad you're sticking around for my insanity, it makes me feel less insane, especially when you all share about your insanity as well. *all warm and fuzzy*

I heard a Cold Play song this weekend and suddenly needed a Tim Hawkins fix. So now I shall share something funny with all y'all, something that makes me laugh boisterously, so we can hang out together and laugh, as I freak out getting myself ready for a trip, a test, Tuesday Twitters, writing amazing run-on sentences, and um, endless shaving I suppose; if you haven't seen this, you will be better for it once you have. Hope all had a great weekend! Oh yeah and go enter my giveaway. Thank you all for hanging out with me!! Peace ooooooooooout.

KICKOFF TO SUMMER GIVEAWAY!!!

OK, so it's not quite summer yet, but I am seeing definite snippits of its arrival, including 80 degree days! You're not? So sorry. How about winning some fab jewelry? That will make you feel better, right? Because, while you're out buying ties, and novel BBQ paraphernalia, and those arm-chair buddies that hold cold beverages and remotes for Father's Day, you'll need to look awesome.

So I present to you this fantastic giveaway by Jenny (the Bunneh) of Jenny Bunny Creations. She has created these THREE lovely pieces to choose from; the winner will get to choose the one in her favorite color! (or his, I ain't discriminating here)

Aren't they lovely? These pieces are made with Czech pressed glass beads in Opaque White, Orange with a mirror finish, or Opaque Red. Each necklace is 22 inches in length, and closes with a Sterling plated hook and eye clasp. Each bead is lovingly hand-tied onto the cord in case the unmentionable should occur, so you won't lose your necklace! And, Jenny mentioned not wearing them in the water...pretty while sunbathing in that new bathing suit, not so good in the chlorinated pool...

You all know how this works, but read through just to be clear, m'kay?

This is the official entry:

Visit Jenny's shop HERE, come back and tell me what your favorite piece is, AND which one of the three contest necklaces you would like to choose should you be the winner! Please leave me a safe way to contact you!

Yes there are additional entries!! These count for one each:

- Blog about the giveaway, come back here with the link and notification comment.
- Tweet about it, come back with the link and a notification comment.
- Become a follower over at, OH! I Love That!, a fantastic blog that Jenny and a talented team contribute to. Come back here and leave me a notification comment so I can verify.

This one counts for TWO extra entries:

-Buy something from her shop (use the promotional code insanitykim for free ground shipping)! Come back here and comment so I can verify!

That is a grand total of six possible entries! Happy happy dance!

REMEMBER! During this giveaway use can the promotional code insanitykim and receive FREE GROUND SHIPPING in the Continental US when purchasing any of her items!

The Random Number Generator will pick the winner on June 14th, 12pm EST. If the winner does not respond in 3 days the RNG will pick a new winner!

I hope you win! (and by you I mean, you...)

PS Jenny offers screw-back earrings for those of us who cannot wear earrings (thanks Jenny!) and she will also create custom orders. Sweetness....thank you, Bunneh!!!

Wordless Wednesday? You Mean Like This?

Jacob: "Mom! Take a picture of me and put it on your blog!" *clamps mouth shut with magnets*

Me: "Um...ok!"

PS: I did not require him to leave them there, though I was highly supportive of his new use for magnets...

Tuesday Twitters

I was SO social this past weekend that it's been nearly 30 er, four days since my last blog post. Hmmm...I wanted that to be more dramatic and meaningful.

Did you all miss a weekend post? Tell me you did (it will make me feel better).

So, why does my colon hate me? What did I ever do to it? The way I see it, I just chew and swallow the food; it's all my taste buds' fault! I would be perfectly happy to eat bland, fibrous foods but my taste buds are all, "no way! You're eating the fettuccine and the fudge sundae!"

I am SO excited that Conan finally took over The Tonight Show! It's been a loooooooooong three-year wait! Go Conan!!!

I broke out the hair dye this week and dyed my hair. Black. Yes. I am again, a blackhead. Don't try to squeeze me, at least, not too hard.

Two GREAT giveaways are happening right now! Go to Oh! I love that and win you a crazy-eyed monkey (stuffed animal that is) or some vintage earrings over at Sounds Like Tomatoes...go! NOW!!!

By the way, I guest-blogged at Sounds Like Tomatoes...did you read it? If not, you still can, just go here, and comment, telling Kearsie you really want to know about her skin tag story...

But, also, read wendiwinn's comments for that guest post...it is so worth it! I run in a hysterical circle, of friends that is, not like, a circle in my living room...

My daughter danced in a recital this weekend. In the middle of her dance she stopped and yelled at the other girls, "you're doing it wrong!!" She is gonna be President one day, I kid you not.

And I have to figure out how to get my son on Leno/Conan/whatever because I think he is a human calculator. He can compute numbers in his head like I can, um...compute numbers on a calculator. It's amazing!

Did I mention that my neck and shoulder blade hate me too? It's either because I am almost 35, or all that head spinning/twisting/thrashing I did as a kid. I had to stop using the heating pad for fear that Europe would show up on my right side, as I still have Africa on the lower left...

Remember that song, "no body likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat some worrrRRRrrroms?" No? Well good for you. No one ever hated you. psh.

My, that was a tad dark and gloomy...have a great Tuesday ya'all, and may you never eat worms!