Monday, January 25, 2010

Insanity Mondays

I got all butterfingers-like and broke my favorite coffee mug. I need a moment of silence.
(< ----moment of silence)

It's good for me to be silent like that, because when I dropped the mug, and watched it fall to the ground in slow motion, breaking into no less than 40,347 pieces right next to my bare feet I screamed, "that SUCKS!" Yeah man, it gets bad around here. Fear me.

Man, sorry. I wasn't planning on talking about the coffee cup, but BLARGING CRIPES I loved that mug.

You're all psh, buy a new one! But it was free! That's not entirely why I loved it, but it helped.

Anyway...

So I precariously hauled my nearly 60-pound son down 14 stairs by his wrists and ankles, which wasn't easy, as he is sinewy and strong...kinda like me. AHAHAHHAAH! But man, I obviously have superhero muscles somewhere, because he was kicking and grabbing the railing and flailing and squirming and laughing. Again, fear me, but just until about 1 pm tomorrow, when the intense muscle soreness kicks in. Then I will be prostrate on the floor, and then you can just fear tripping over me.



Two words: Chocolate Cheerios. CHOCOLATE CHEERIOS YA'ALL! This ingenius combination has forever ceased this broken-record of a conversation that always takes place with me and the kids at the store:

Me: So what kind of cereal you want? (my way of feigning diplomatic negotiations)

Audge: (screeching at the top of her lungs) The marshmallow princess one!

Jake: (hiding like a Ninja behind the bin of price-reduced oatmeal) *whispering* That one, with the Spiderman flashlight!

Me: Um, no marshmallow princesses, and Jake you don't even like Spiderman, or the cinnamon-apple crunch you would have to choke down to get the toy! How about Cheerios?

Kids: Ewww no gross! (they run down the aisle and start sparring off down near the Fiber One cereal and an obviously disturbed and bound-up man)

ENTER NEW PART OF CONVERSATION THAT ENDS ALL FUTURE CEREAL CONVERSATIONS:

Me: *singing* There are CHOCOLATE onnnnnnnnes!!

Kids: *they release their choke holds on each other and stumble around carts and crabby geriatric people with digestive challenges to grab the box I am holding over their cute little heads. They act really interested for about 2 seconds and then Jacob tries to slip a slinky into the cart while Audrey crashes into yet another old person*

I'm holding out for candied broccoli now...

Homeschooling:

Jacob: Mom, what's your liver?

Me: It's an organ that...wait, you're looking at it in the dictionary! Read it yourself!

So, I think me and hubs play too many RPG games (that's role-playing games, and, before you either get all excited or grossed out or confused I mean actual computer video game games...sheesh) Because we are now talking like this:

Hubs: *Does something to annoy me*

Me: See this? *pointing to my head* there is a minus 1 approval thingie floating right next to it.

Hubs: *Laughs* Well, I just hit you with an Annoyance Resistance spell and a Mirror of Reflection spell too.

Me: Psh. It didn't work, as I have my own resistance spell on.

Hubs: I need to gift you something then, to up your approval...

Me: Actually it's right here *showing off my cocktail ring bling* and this one  too, *showing my wedding ring* but this one right here has a bondage-er, I mean binding spell on it.

Hubs: I do too! *smirks as he holds up his ring finger*

Me: Yeah, but mine has more power *pointing to all the little diamonds around the bigger stones*

Hubs: Oh yes, you have more rune stones than me. You win.

Funny, we weren't actually playing the video game when this happened. Hmmmm...



18 comments:

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

oh IK - as always - a pleasure. and my son breaks at least one piece of tableware a week. i got this great bargain at wm where you get a 4 pc set for $12 so every time i go, i just buy another set.

robin said...

you guys sound like jake and i. we are always casting things on and off of each other.....heh heh....

Dee Crowe said...

A moment for your favorite mug *bows head in silence*

Chocolate Cheerios! Holy cow I'm gonna have to get some of those!

w said...

you had me at the moment of silence. and you lost me at the chocolate cheerios.

i'm gonna look cullmpledly like a copycat when i do my cheerios post! no matter. i will press on. you can't hold me down! i'm so sleepy. mayerbe i have a sleeping disorder. this comment is lame. i can't even come up with anything for var. or tan. lame!

Vickie said...

I just discovered the Chocolate Cheerios last week!! They are sooooo good! I ate the box in three days;) Yes I did.

Sarah said...

Oh man! I'm gonna have to get me some of those - good thing it's grocery shopping day! I like to eat various chocolate-flavored cereals as dessert...

Sorry about the mug.

Why were you pulling Jacob down the stairs? I never figured it out. Was it related to HomeSchooling?

And finally...I really do not get yours and Josh's relationship, but I'm glad it works for you.

*weirdos*

Love ya!

Creative Junkie said...

OK - chocolate Cheerios? Seriously? I AM SO THERE.

Earlier today, I just found out about mint chocolate M&Ms.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AND WHY CAN'T WE JUST COVER THE WORLD IN CHOCOLATE AND CALL IT A DAY?

*shouting while jumping up and down*

gamommy2two said...

My husband and I have had very similar conversations, but ours usually revolve around World of Warcraft...specifically a raid setting lol

Kearsie said...

I believe you can use Tervis Tumblers for cold AND hot beverags. Ahem. Although, it would definitely feel weird to have a ginormous hot beverage in a plastic cup.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Isn't it frightening when you realize just how big your son is getting? My son is near 75 pounds and 4'4" tall. I can't even carry him anymore and he isn't quite 8 yet. OMG. When we have to look up to scold them I am going to die.

The Retired One said...

Just think of the breakage of your favorite mug as a sign from God that you need to spend less time on the video games.
Way. Less.Time.
Because, Girlfriend...I had no idea what you and the Hubs conversation meant.

Spend some time away from home wandering in those darling little shops looking for your new favorite mug instead....
Just don't have it looking like a chocolate cheerio......

Maven said...

Chocolate cheerios!!!

*doing the happy dance*

As for the role playing games - LOL! I got all set to read something *ahem* R Rated ;)

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Umm, RPG's? I live that stuff with my. MMO's? GMO's? GNO's? I have no freakin idea. I just know I have to take him to the nerd parlor once a week so that he can buy and paint overpriced action figures. Then he spends the rest of his gaming time online surging (or something) with forty year old dudes that live in their mom's basement.

J.J. said...

New to your blog! :) That cat phot totally killed me....laughing that is. Such a perfect photo to express your emotions!

Much More Than Mommy said...

Cheerios broke my heart when they stopped doing Berry Burst with strawberries. At least I wasn't able to find them. Not even Chocolate Cheerios can help me get over that. *sniff*

Ottavia said...

I love that picture! I felt like that this morning!!!
...that sucks you brought your fav mug. I'm impressed you do Homeschooling, thats a HUGE job!

BTW, I tagged u today, come by for a peek. =)

Arizona Mamma said...

I too just broke my favorite mug. Sucks.

I haven't ever played any of those computer games...but I am laughing at your entire dialogue anyway!

Oh, and I suppose your son is lucky you didn't just roll him down the stairs.

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