Friday, January 8, 2010

I Found Bigfoot, And Bigfoot Hates Shoe Horns...

Having a little girl is so sweet isn't it? I mean, I love my boy too, and, if you have read this and this you know, like all highly emotional, pre menopausal moms, I am nutso crazy gaga about both kids. But, with little girls everything is so, little! Cuteness!

Especially her nose. Audge probably has the tiniest nose I have seen but, it fits her face, and she also has cute little lips and elfish ears, blonde hair (which still amazes me) and while her stature is fairly average, man...those little tiny attributes...so so CUTE! *restraining from making squealing sounds and pinching her cheeks*

In many ways this doesn't surprise me; my ring finger is 4 1/4, even though I am nearly 5'6". My shoe size is a modest 7 1/2, and my wrists and ankles are small (though not shapely) and this is why I cannot do push ups or run; they just ain't gonna stand to the pressure...the girl was destined to have some sort of small physical features...

But, it ends there.

See, last year, dance and soccer season came knocking, demanding our money, so it was time to crawl out of my hibernation hole and commit myself and my kids to their extra-curricular activities. Of course like a responsible, prepared mom, I pulled out all the gear about 4 days before everything was supposed to start up and CRAZAP Audge's shoes did not fit! Her soccer shoes, ballet shoes and tap shoes weren't just a wee bit snug, they were like, SIZES too small. I looked at her feet. What the hey happened over the winter? I always buy their street shoes big, so I hadn't realized that her feet were growing at a rate faster than mold on shower grout!

And bless her heart, you know I tried and tried and tried to shove her precious feet into those shoes; I was convinced we were not utilizing the space in the shoes correctly; I used shoe horns, made her put on really thin nylon socks, had her stand, sit, hold her legs in the air to have all the blood drain from her feet...just short of grabbing the butter I decided it was in fact true, it was time to buy new shoes.

So as you know, soccer/dance season is pretty much the same for every 6-year-old in the United States, so the first three stores I checked on-line were OUT. As was the dance studio, at least in her size. However, Amazon saved the day, and, while my son was fine wearing his soccer shoes for another season, I slapped down a considerable amount of moolah to properly prepare my daughter for her dancing, goal kicking feats of fabulousness without causing her any pain or phyisial deformities...

And here we are again...

Again, about 5 days before her dance class was to start...

Me: Put on your tap shoes hon.
Audge: They don't fit!
Me: WHAT?
Audge: I can't get them on!
Me: Oh, well, that's the wrong foot...let me try...
*shoving, whining, crying, semi-cursing and more shoving ensues*
Me: WE JUST BOUGHT THESE LAST YEAR!
Audge: Let's get new ones!
Me: *crying because I know I will have to buy soccer shoes too*

My daughter is Bigfoot.

Seriously, I need to go into the shoe business. I mean, at this rate I would be a millionaire, as sobbing moms, who have to take up a second job, come to me to buy new shoes for their kids every 6 months, kids who have the same body/feet ratio as professional basketball players or rabbits...because see unlike her tennis shoes, these shoes always need to fit juuuuuuuuuuust right, so she doesn't kick her shoes off during a performance into someone's teeth...

So this time I was smart-uh, smart-er, and I went straight to Amazon, and got her the best deals I could find, in the most generous size I could allow, for shoes that fit well yet won't become projectiles during a corner goal kick or a kick ball-change...

Yeah, I know some of you just can't wait to press "comment" and tell me about all the great deals I can get on used shoes but, sorry. Please don't judge but, other people's kids' sweaty, mashed-in toe jam used shoes are something I am not prepared for. However, if anyone is looking for barely used, completely lysol-ed out tap and ballet shoes in a size 11 1/2 with the name, "Audrey" written in permanent marker on the bottoms, let me know...


10 comments:

Claire Gutschow said...

As a fellow bigfoot, I fully understand what Audge is going through. Look on the bright side, at least she can dance. On a good day I have the coordination of a one legged sloth liquored-up on moonshine. She may have big feet, but the girl sure knows how to use them. Me on the other hand, I'm still learning...

Kearsie said...

Oh man, how did you know I needed a pair of 11 1/2 soccer shoes with lysol scented toe jam? Edward is thinking of taking up boating in our fish pond.

Ava Is The Boss said...

Awww

Much More Than Mommy said...

I feel your pain. I took the girls to get shoes once, and actually had their feet measured. They were both wearing shoes about a size and a half smaller than they needed. My little girls with their smushed toes never complained. *tear*

And I wouldn't get used shoes for things like that either. Stank factor.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

i have been looking for tap and ballet shoes with the name Audrey on them. In size 10 though.

Not really.

But I feel your pain girl. My son is a monster and constantly needs something new. It's never ending.

The Retired One said...

Hey. The winter Olympics are coming...
just slap two pieces of laminate flooring on those huge, growing feet of hers and push her down the hill.
ha
(Just kidding)!
The good news is=that supposedly bigger feet people have better balance!
Bless her heart.

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

Yikes! Dance/sports shoes ain't cheap either! So sorry! But, maybe she's just going up sizes quickly and will stop for a long time?

Dee Crowe said...

Oh I know how that goes! Hailey is 8 and is in a size 4 big kids. Her feet have grown 4 sizes since the beginning of last summer....and I'm sure the size 4 I just got her will only last a month or so. Its funny, her hands and everything else are right on target for her age..but those feet!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I have a little footed boy. I hope he doesn't decide to jump sizes too. Stopping by from SITS!

w said...

glad you were able to find shoes on amayerzon. i don't think i've evar bought anything from there. though, i culled be mistakened.

mayerbe you culled mayerke shoes for her? get some rubber, leather, and whatevar else it takes. idk. i'm still swaying back and forth from the ship.

kids certainly demayerand a lot of mayeroney.

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