Saturday, January 23, 2010

Analyzing Psycho, Part Eh? Hairy Legs Edition

So, if any of you have read my psycho rants, Part One and Part Deux  and Part LAZY, which are utter nonsense and a waste of your time basically little tid-bits about de-cluttering my brain, my closets, and my life, you'd know I get really revved up, and then a lull sort of passes over me like a rogue raincloud and not much changes. Maybe it's ADD...I was reading a book before I got up to get my tea, and now suddenly I am writing a post. Anyway...

So, some of my goals were:

-Get the house in order. CHECK! (It only took me 7 months to get to it, seriously)

-Do fun creative things for homeschooling and make sure my kids are learning something. Um, CHECK? (for the latter part anyway, I mean heck, the boy has his multiplication tables memorized!) Anyway I am SO happy for home schooling blogs like THIS ONE!

-Stick to a schedule...UNCHECK! I need help here...I got up at 11 today. Sure, it's Saturday but 11??? It's not much better during the week...

-Serving in a ministry. Well, CHECK...we have been sick but, we have at least mentally committed...

-And be a Cool Soccer Mom. CHECK...but their soccer program was just canceled. Um, YAY for no early morning Saturdays and SOB! That was the best league ever and we could afford it! I am now just a Cool Mom who can sleep in, more, with over-sized soccer shoes for my kids, who probably won't get to play anywhere anytime soon. Lameness.

So, once again, I am sort of caught up, and I need to find some other things to commit to.

So I am gonna brush up on what's happening in the Deaf and Interpreting world. Since I am not working during this transitional phase of life, I seriously need to stay relevant, in case I need to start working again. I have tons of great resources to glean from, and I am motivated (yes!) And, I love the career I chose. Love love love it.

And, I am trying to get my hormones in order. Yes, they are way wonkey. They are causing all sorts of imbalances and problems and scares and really, being 35 so far, I have not enjoyed from a womanly standpoint. I am reading books by Dr. Lee and I am trying to take a holistic approach to "aging gracefully" so...with that, wanting to clean and heal up the inside, I want to get the outside to match.

So, I am planning on working out and getting this ever-aging body into shape. Ya know, just the best shape I can be in, nothing drastic, but something that will carry me into my 40's in such a way that my calves don't jiggle as much as my bingo wings. But seriously I don't even want bingo wings. Hey now, hold up...this is no stinkin' New Years Resolution and seriously, I need to start now, because in 7 months I'll just be even older. And probably jigglier. Ugh.

And, just recently I was noticing that it's time to pull out the ol' pumice stone and shaving paraphernalia, mainly because in these parts of the world springtime comes like in April and, before you know it, wearing jeans causes you to stroke in the warm weather, socks slide right off due to excess humidity, and your kids ask you why there is hair under your armpits. So it kinda becomes important to me to have a summer facade that won't make people scream and run in terror. And, I have to start taking care of all of it now, because undoing months of winter neglect, while hiding under lots of layers, is an arduous process; man, summer is SO exhausting.

Then I saw this:


And, let me just say, that tons of emotions flooded my being all at once. I was all, ACK! YOUGOGIRLWHATINTHE??ISTHISREALCANIDOTHISTOO? And hey! Nice feet!

Caveat here; I am always attempting to read the actual NEWS in the morning, and somehow I am distracted by this tomfoolery, which apparently serious professional journalists think is important for me to know about, AND spend copious amounts of energy thinking about for the rest of the day, and thus allow the sludge that corroded my mind to spill out onto my blog, which is just ridiculous. (Wow, awesome run-on sentence there!)

Yet, here I am. Psh. Don't judge. You're here too man.

So anway, after all of that, I can SO happily skip right on past the deep contemplation of social norms, cultural stigmas and superficial expectations of Hollywood and the like because Mo'Nique simply stated that she does not care to shave. 'Nuff said. I can TOTALLY live with that.

But, as much as I admire her, I must say that to all who are within a near radius of my being I will be fair; since I spend a great deal of my summer poolside, for the betterment of, and regard for, civilization and young children around me, I will care. The End.

Mo'Nique, you are my hero.


16 comments:

Much More Than Mommy said...

I think Mo'Nique is really cool. But I think her legs are really scary. But I shave every day. Yes, even on the rare cold FL days when many other FL girls are saying, "Yay! I don't have to shave!" I do. I don't like the prickly feeling beneath my jeans. Or against my other leg. Or under my jammies. Besides, you never know when we're going to have pizza for dinner!

w said...

i don't like shavaring. and so i don't do it unless i'm wearing a dress. maybe.

i'm so sleepy.

cedric diggory is edward cullen. hahahaha. i laugh mayerjorly when i think of that.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

The hair on my legs is light colored and textured, so I could probs get away with that. MoNique? Not so much. Love her. Don't love the look.

Josh Theory said...

uhhhhhh. no. Some things just aren't allowed...God made people who make razors for a reason.

One Cluttered Brain said...

Srsly? She didn't shave her legs? That's crazy. I sometimes forego longer than I should in the winterttime but if i was getting all fussed up in a great dress I would definitely shave my legs! EEK!

Good you are getting things done and organized!
Since you are so good about getting your house all clean and organized, you can do mine...hehehe.

The Retired One said...

Good LORD! What is UP with the gorilla legs there? I mean, WOW>...all that money on the dress, the hair, the makeup, the heels and then....
THAT?????

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

oh geez. Why she gots to give us Monique's a bad, err, hairy name?

Kimberly said...

Yuck! That was one scary situation!

I shave a couple of times a week. I prefer a good waxing though. Much rather have a waxing then shave.

Please, Monique has enough money for someone to shave her. There is no excuse for her legs to look like that on the runway. DAMN!

Mass Hole Mommy said...

I'll admit, there have been seasons I've gone without shaving, but I am kinda surprised a celeb would show that off, ya know? It is a tiny bit disturbing.

ModernMom said...

Um sorry but I am way way to vain to be walking down a red carpet...r any other carpet with legs looking like that!

Tracie said...

For about a year I only shaved about 2 inches above my socks. You know - in case my pants raised up a little.

Lulu said...

This all read in my mind like one looong sentence - and it ROCKED, thank you very much....also, I haven't been around nearly enough and your new blog also rocks!

w said...

i want to be on your comments widget. i'm selfish. but so is monique. for hoarding all that hair.

Ottavia said...

Go for her! I'm so sick of shaving and for that matter wearing a bra too. Actually more days I don't do either =)

The Lost in Suburbia Blog said...

I saw that picture on one of those fashion Round-ups of the Golden Globes and all I could think of was, "talented lady, but she looks like a Yeti."
I wasn't a big fan of the Madonna hairy arm-pits look either, though.
Hair issues aside, congrats on checking a whole bunch of annoying things off your list. By the way, I am 45 and that whole bingo wing thing is true. I call them Bat Wings, though and pretty soon I'm going to be able to take flight with mine.

robin said...

well i guess i am with kim on this one because i definatly look for reasons not to shave. however, i need to start doing it! i am always the one who is behind on her shaving when we decide to spontanously go to the swimming pool. and trust me, my legs and arm pits are not the areas that could be embarrassing....*gasp* yes, i said it.

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