Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Tuesday Twitters

I was attacked by baby penguins this week. Oh yeah, you all will be hearing much, MUCH more about this very, VERY soon!!

I found these new Omega 3 Flax Seed cookies. And I am eating them.

Wasn’t that amazing?

Do you ever see your childrens' toy on the floor, and think it’s a bug crawling around? Then, do you ever see a bug and think it’s a toy? I don’t like these moments.

I think I might possibly have an addiction to fried chicken. And Oreos. That’s why I stuff myself with Flax Seed cookies.

My 8-year-old is begging me to let him drink coffee. Like a good mom I said no way! Then I remembered I was drinking a cup of joe every morning at age 9. For real.

Man I love coffee.

My daughter took a toilet paper roll, drew a face on it, named it Harry, said it was her son, and then she put it in "time out" with some other sorts of scary punishments I haven’t even HEARD of before! Should I be scared?

Could someone please tell me why, when I am using the elliptical like a madwoman and eating better, I have gained a pound instead of lost?

I just said addicted…doesn’t mean I am eating it…

I found a wood cockroach in the house. It was almost dead. Lovely...just as ugly, not as dirty, a little more crunchy, and nutty, in flavor...





We had to plug in our converter box this week and somehow lost PBS. I had PMS and I totally went ballistic and was all, “we must have PBS ASAP or the kids will go AWOL! Make it work STAT!!” And, we got it to work! TGIF! Um…couldn’t think of any more acronyms…

I have a HUGE underground zit on my chin. Ahhh…brings me back to the “good ol’ days” when I had zits as a teenag…wait, I didn’t. Crazap. Stupid hormones.

Oh nice! ANOTHER zit! Right next to the underground monster one! Twins!

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My mind is like a steel trap. See? Nothing’s coming out.

10 comments:

The Retired One said...

1. It wasn't baby penquins. Those were tuxedos. You were drunk at the wedding reception. Again.

2. Those aren't flax seed cookies. That is grass seed. You are in the garage (still drunk from the reception).

3. Those are bugs, not toys. You gotta clean more and drink less.

4. You have Col. Sanders fantasies. He's old and dead now. Move on. As far as the oreos go, it is a sign that you have a very black and white personality. No gray in your world. (or you want to dunk something or someone). Perhaps you want to go dunking with Col. Sanders???

5. Give your 8 yr. old coffee. They will get up for school so much easier. Then if you need to calm them down at night, give them Benydryl. You know...for their (ahem) "allergies". I prefer to call them "mother's little helpers".
(I am KIDDING, people!!)

6. You found Harry! I have been missing him. Please send him back.

7. Congratulations, you have gained elliptical muscle, Arnold !

8. The cockroach HAD to be better than the flaxseed cookies (I mean grass seed).

9. F.U. to the converter box. BTW, ROFLAO.

10. Those are your boobs. Quit pinching them, for God's sake.

The Retirement Chronicles

Kearsie said...

I'll see your twin underground zits and raise you three zits in a triangle fashion on your cheek, where your hair touches your face.

Also, I am not addicted to Reese's Cups anymore. In fact, they seem kind of gross, like squished up peanut butter.

I gained a pound, too. I'm just looking at it as my body is a party and all the pounds want to bring their friends.

I wasn't popular in school.

It might be because I wore blue converse with red sweat pants.

Also, I wore my grandfather's plaid shirt with that ensemble.

I so want to meet Stacy and Clinton and make fun of their clothes.

And then I might beg for a $5,000 gift card to New York.

But I'll bet in New York I could find other people wearing blue converse with red sweat pants.

Insanity Kim said...

OK, you two wise-gals cracked me up!!! Thanks for the laughs!

Banteringblonde said...

lol your commenters are as funny as you are!

w said...

i told you to step on the penguin.

i heard those wood roaches love coffee. watch what you drink.

other acronyms you could have easily used:

ED - there are commercials about it all the time. good thing you don't watch tv.

MAYER - well. it's not really an acronym. but it is part of a popular commercial jingle.

Carol said...

If I laugh any harder the tears will be second to something else.

This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

Lovely! lol There is usually always something on your list that makes me want to go take a shower after reading. ;)

Dayna (one of my loyal followers) told me that she couldn't get the picture for my button to work. Am I doing something wrong? Did I forget to change a code maybe?

Let me know. I can totally give you my blogger password and you can check it out for me, if you want. lol

Insanity Kim said...

Banteringblonde: Yes, girl...stick around...those laugh-inducers are two of many...I am the funniest tho...ahhh...

w: thank you for secretly telling me what ED means...can we say ED has VD? hehehehhee I get it...get it?

Carol, stick around...it gets worse... ;)

YODA! I sent you a msg, check it out. Man...showers are so hard to come by these days too...sorry about that! ;)

~Jamie said...

I have an award for you! Stop by my bloggy and pick it up.

Jennifer said...

Thanks for stopping by and leaving me your sweet comment!

... Fried chicken addiction? I see nothing wrong with eating platefuls of it on a daily basis...

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