Friday, October 9, 2009

What to do When You're a Lazy Mom (Analyzing Psycho, part III)

I have come to a serious realization ya'all...

I, am lazy.

It's true.


I have always known that I could never live up to the whole "soccer mom" thing, even though, um, my kids play soccer. I just do NOT have it in me to dart about this way and that across town 50 times in one day AND do all the other things I do all day, like write and read blog posts, check FB cook and clean and stuff like that. I mean, sometimes, secretly, when I know it's like 99.99999% likely it's gonna rain on Saturday, I giggle, just a little...

Isn't that HORRIBLE? Why do I giggle? Because then soccer is canceled and I can sleep in!


My kids stare pathetically out the window, asking why it's raining on a Saturday again, and all I have to offer is, "ohhhh, I am so sorry hand me that blanket over there so I can get all cozy with my coffee..."


I have to admit this laziness is worse with the start of the school year, because actually I am quite busy and tired. Homeschooling two kids and running the house, for me, is like, running the country for Pete's sake! Remember how I was all worried about my purpose and doing stuff and all of that stuff? Well, I am merely up to my ankles in business and um, I'm looking to unplug the drain.

What's really funny tho, I think anyway, is that I have had this realization that I am lazy, and that I like it, and that repulses me, so I end up doing things, like keeping up with my house cleaning schedule and baking from scratch. It's weird. I get all stressed out about laziness, so the lazier I feel, the more I do...

Unless, I am FED UP with doing anything. Because sometimes I get excited about getting things done, so I get a ton of projects and cleaning and amazing things done, like super cool school projects and plucking my eyebrows. Then after about 10 days of that I am all, "BLECH! Do the items under the bathroom sink really need to be organized by size and use?" and, "who cares if my eyebrows grow together? Where's the couch???"

I start to think it's because usually when I do something I want to do it the very best I can, and sometimes, when you have to do dishes and laundry EVERY DAY that wears on you, so you don't actually feel up to taking on that sort of unnecessary project (ya know, the kind that has to be done again in 3 months), so you grapple with this ongoing juxtaposition of striving to succeed and just not caring. Man that sentence made me tired.

And then there is guilt. Now normally I suffer no guilt in my parenting, but, when it comes to making sure my kids are doing/learning/sharing/playing/experiencing enough, I feel bad when I just let them play quietly and stay busy on their own. Like if Audge plays upstairs alone for an hour. I have to fight that feeling that something is WRONG and that she's alone and suffering by playing peacefully with her dolls. And really, if my husband helps me by folding the laundry, on one hand I am so thankful because really, it was sitting there because I was too lazy to do it, yet I am disappointed in myself because I could have done it but I sat instead. It's that cultural self-imposed pressure to think that constantly flying around doing "stuff" is what we are suppose to strive for, and sitting around because I want to sometimes, a lot, is bad.

I went back and read my first psycho post, seeing that I still haven't completed some of the goals I made for myself. I mean, at this point, my bathrooms are clean, the laundry is caught up, the kids are doing well in their school work, but man, if I get the chance, I am playing Bubble Spinner, not cleaning my closet! I can't win that game. I try and try and try. Because see in a month or so the closet needs to be cleaned again anyway. It's just like Bubble Spinner!

So I think about people like this, whose personal game of Bubble Spinner is never ending and they never win...what does it take to get to this point? I mean, I am sure she's a nice lady but ACK!

So, what do you do when you're a lazy mom and you want to play Bubble Spinner instead of gutting that closet or cabinet? You watch about 3 episodes of this show and you're cured for at lease the next 6 months, *retching!*

It's time for my bi-yearly dose me about you?


Vickie said... lazy! I would be so content if I could just sit on the rocker all day and watch my shows.

I only clean if someone is coming over. Usually I just do the bare minimum. Now I have to clean the floor because our newer dog eats everything!!

I fill out school forms the day before it is due.

Mimi N said...

Interesting, I never thought I had a twin, but I think I just found her! As I look around me, I see that my computer desk has just enough room for my mouse to move around. Ther are light saber's, Uno cards, Playstation, movies, a football, mancala, a couple of books, a sweatshirt, a pair of my socks, and a phonebook on the floor. Oh, turned the other way and found a bunch of random papers.

Now, I could be cleaing all of that up OR I could be surfing the internet. I "could" clean off the counter OR I could try and get through another book.

Tomorrow being Saturday I want to sleep in...HELLO, what else is better than that? Earlier in the week it sounded like such a great idea to have my son sign up to sell Cub Scout popcorn at the non-so-local grocery store! He needs to do his part, right? Tonight as I think of having to get him there BY 10am, I just cringe. I have to be presentable by our 9:30 departure time and I am NOT a morning person.

Thank you for sharing what you did. I am definitely part of the Mom's Who Feel Guilty club!

Your possible twin in MN,
Mimi @ Woven by Words

Cluttered Brain said...

Oh my! My house has NEVER gotten that dirty! ACK! I agree with you about soccer games. My daughter did soccer last year and I too, prayed for rain. YES, I want her to be involved but I also want my sleep. Fortunately for me this year, she is interested in drama and plays. Let's hope I have NO early morning Saturdays. So far so good.

Unknown said...

OMG I am not alone! Hey, I'm the one who secretly hopes we get a snowstorm in the middle of the summer so I don't have to take my child to karate!

April D said...

Holy crap! That is SO ME! LOL I loved this one single post SO MUCH, so I clicked on that wonderful "follow" button because I have to see what comes next from you... and I'll have to catch up on some of your past posts! :-D

w said...

wow. look at that. the topic "lazy" gets comments. i should blog about that. but i'm too busy playing bubble spinner.

mayerust beat current high score. i have nothing for vartan or edward. cull it be that i'm just too lazy to come up with something spectacuvar and new? possibly.

Insanitykim said...

You all I am calling the weather cancellation hotline right now, at 8 am this Saturday hoping to giggle...loving your camaraderie gals!!! got some blastED score that makes you top in the WORLD hosh said...who var you? Wondmayer Woman?

Lynn Kellan said...

Kim, you are too busy to be considered lazy! You deserve a little sleeping in now and then! You go, girl!

Insanitykim said...

Thanks Lynn!

And, soccer was ON today! We froze our patooties off, feet got wet from the wet grass, but, my son was INCREDIBLE we are so incredibly proud of him! So now I remember why it's good to not be lazy, sometimes...

Aria said...

Yay Lazy Mom! It's the new 'soccer mom' anyway, cause all those soccer beotches made us run around like we were on meth, and now we're so run down that some of us (yeah, totally me) don't even let the kids sign up for soccer anymore. What?!? Who?!? Did I say that out loud? Yeah, Mom Fail. Screw it. My kid's got better computer skills than your (not you personally Kim!) soccer kid, and let's face it, what skill is going to be more useful out in the real world...? Exactly!!! So who's the better parent? Uh huh.

Audrey said...

I would much rather be on the computer than cleaning! It's so frustrating when I spend time cleaning in the morning, then everyone comes home from school and work and it's a mess again. What's up with that?
I think it's ok to be lazy sometimes, but it can be addictive. LOL

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