Monday, October 12, 2009

Monday Insanity


MONDAYS ARE INSANE!

So I am changing Tuesday Twitters to Monday Insanity, mainly because it's my blog and I can do what I want. I actually haven't done a TT in a while, and was waiting to see if anyone would notice. Well, no one really did, which made me think maybe it's not that popular, so I had one choice after conducting this extensive research, I had to face the truth and take action, which was to change the name and day to trick you all into reading...it's the same old craziness though, such as...

I nearly started to cry, Saturday morning, when I called the weather hot line and the message said, "yes you lazy woman, soccer is ON and you CAN'T go back to sleep, even if the ground is soggier than a wet sponge and it's barely 50 degrees out!" I thought that message was rather abrasive, but apparently my laziness isn't smiled upon. So see I had to pay for my whole "I giggle when it rains" comment, and go out in the wet cold for 3 hours, my toes getting wet through my shoes and snot threatening to drip from my nose. However, my son played his heart out! Other parents were cheering for him! I was up out of my seat screaming things like, "GO! GO! GO!" and, "KICK IIIIIIIIIT!" My heart was racing! It was like I was watching a different kid! But I know it was him, because I can see the numbers on the jerseys, ya know. Man. I am one PROUD lazy mom!

I had this moment, where I really needed to know if the 844 number still exists. Don't know what that is? Well, it's not like some scary number you call and hear messages played backwards or anything, it's just a time/weather phone number that I could call, back home, in the day. Then I wondered if it were a universal number, like if ever it were serious enough that you couldn't tell what the weather was, because you were in a bunker, and you were just curious if the sun were shining. So I dialed it and it didn't work. Then my husband showed me he had the time and temp right there on his fancy little cell phone thing. I was all psh. Progress...

The pediatric dental office is stalking me. See, I had to cancel the kids' appointment due to a schedule conflict (seriously, not just because I am lazy. I lie not). I did this canceling on their answering machine, which was less confrontational.  And I clearly stated that I WOULD CALL BACK WHEN I WAS READY TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT! They have called three times since then, and I haven't answered. It's like, um, whose kids are these? The lady left a message demanding, "plllllease call me back so I can schedule Jacob's and Audrey's appointment." Excuuuuuse me? Don't I do that, as the PARENT?! Worse yet, I know they are all sitting around thinking, "sheesh, that woman. I bet she is avoiding us while her childrens' teeth rot out of their heads. She's so lazy!" Can you believe the nerve of some people?

Have you ever had that horrible experience, where you reposition yourself in a chair or get up, or you pivot on linoleum in bare feet, and the friction makes a sort of tooting sound? And this happens in front of someone who you would prefer to continue to believe you never pass gas? So you over-correct the situation by repositioning more or pivoting again and again, hoping that the person will make the connection between the sound and your movements? That it is coming from the floor/chair and not your backside? But if you really toot I can't help you there. I mean, you can't try to recreate the sound with a forced pivot if it wasn't there in the first place...

About a year or so ago I bought nectarines from a particular wholesale store, and I brought home not only the nectarines, but a family of fruit flies as well. Since then I have been in a constant battle with these little monsters, doing everything I know to get rid of them! I finally went all commando on them...wait...no, that doesn't mean what it used to. Shoot now I can't finish my thought...



11 comments:

One Cluttered Brain said...

ROFL! ROFL! I am sorry that you had to go to the soccer game. Did they win? How many more weeks do you have left?
I always did a countdown. Commando...pretty funny...
Funny, funny, lady. Do you have a FB account?

The Retired One said...

I like your random thoughts, no matter what day you post them....because it makes me thankful that my mind does not think like that.
ha
LMAO

Audrey said...

If you want to get rid of the fruit flies - move to Manitoba, it's cold enough they freeze and die in the winter!
Our youngest played baseball. One game in early spring, we brave mom's where sitting in our lawn chairs, wearing winter jackets, wrapped in blankets watching our boys play while it snowed. The dad's were all sitting in their vehicles with the heat on. Now - who loves their children? LOL

w said...

just because you say it doesn't work, doesn't mean i won't try it. dialing 844 right about... now.

varnit. it doesn't work. and i don't have a fancy phone to tell me what the wedther is going to be like. i couldn't fit mayer into this phrase.

Kearsie said...

That second to last paragraph about poot sounds. I wouldn't know anything about it. Not.at.all.

ModernMom said...

LOL What a great post!
Love that your baby had your heart thumping on the soccer field.

Oh and I hate hate the dentists that just keep calling and calling. I get all defensive and ignore them for a month. It's not logical, but it makes me feel better.

ModernMom said...

Okay so I'm back....to invite myself to YOUR Thanksgiving Dinner. I'm doing it your way from now on!! PJ's and Candle light....oh and what was that soup with stuffing and turkey drippings. Hungry again! :)

Jennifer said...

Oh, I hate being stalked by the dentist. Or the exterminator. Or the post man. Or the UPS guy. I get freaked out easily, could you tell?

Mary K Brennan said...

The dentist girls never call; they just keep sending letters. Piles and piles of letters. I'm thinking of telling them the whole family decided to get veneers.

Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

I love the title of your blog! Thank you so much for visiting me on my SITS Day!!

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

sorry don't have time to read now i will be back this weekend

left you an award over at the crib

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