Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Tuesday Twitters; Tweets on a Plane

I spent 8 hours total on planes last Tuesday...if I twittered during the flights, this is how it would have gone down...

-On our way to Alaska! Hoping to not see Dying Burping Man at any point of this trip.

-FYI, anti-puke meds are the best invention of the 20th century!

-I am seriously missing my husband already...

-Have I mentioned I hate flying?

-CRAPAZOLA WHAT WAS THAT? Oh, the landing gear...

-We survived the tiny airplane flight. Thank you Lord!

-I just navigated the Atlanta airport and boarded the next flight with two kids and three backpacks, and for those who know me well, that is AMAZING!

-Did they just tell passengers to store their laptops in the overhead compartments? Psh.

-No wait, digital TV on the back of the headrests is the BEST invention of the 20th century!

-My most important goal for this plane ride is to not develop a DVT.

-Wait, now my most important goal is to keep my 8-year-old's eyes away from that woman who is watching the steamy sex scene....that.never.ends...turn on the food channel for the love of Pete!

-Oh no, AND my daughter away from the OTHER woman watching multiple breast augmentations! ACK!

-Like, on several women, not multiple breasts on one woman, being augmented...just clarifying.

-That doc must feel like everyday is his birthday...he is unwrapping balloons, every day of his life.

-Man, this plane has turned into a "boob tube". Bada-ching!

-Help me.

-I don't know what is freaking me out more, the guy with the mask on, OR the fact that he keeps taking it off...I am not mentally prepared to rationalize his rationale.

-Oh my goodness...my 8-year-old used the bathroom (freak out number one) and came out and down the aisle with his pants undone (freak out number 2, as in succession, not defecation).

-What in the WORLD is this food? Is that chicken? Tofu? It's like, um, half cold, and I can't tell if it's BBQ or Mexican. Good call kids...don't bring it near your lips!

-Did the stewardess just SAVE our mystery meat Mexican BBQ meals that were not opened...people, DON'T EAT THE "FOOD"!!!!

-Interesting. I now have Dancing, Possibly Drunk Man in front of me. He can't keep his head out of the aisle! One minute he is talking and just sitting there, the next, he is hearing music that I cannot hear, dancing in a dangerous way, a way that will get him knocked out by the beverage cart!


-Speaking of music, I tried to listen to Britney's Circus album. Then I promptly switched to Mariah Carey's power ballads. Oh yeah. I am 35.

-Did you know Canada doesn't get any digital reception? I am torn on whether this is a good thing or a bad thing...

-I had to use the bathroom THREE TIMES! I barely had enough hand sanitizer to live through it!

-OK that turbulence was REALLY hard to lie through for my kids.

-See, because when the stewardess says, "you heard the captain, strap into those seat belts now!" it's hard to convince the kids she is just being silly.

-The passengers are CLAPPING because we landed...does that say anything?

-Ahhhh...good to be home!


w said...

dude. you and your dvts. dvt. kinda looks like vartan. like. i could be all... you wish you had a dvartan.

it wasn't bbq or mexican. it was people. as in pork. pigs eat people.

oh man. when i read "Dancing, Possibly Drunk Man in front of me. He can't keep his head out of the aisle!" i read it too fast. i thought i said "he can't keep his head out of his @ss..."

sorry i semi typed a boo-boo word.

Unknown said...

Lol...so glad you survived!

Carol said...

Survial was not the flight but what happens on flights. Good you made it. How are you today?

Jennifer said...

You survived! Yay!

The Retired One said...

I apologize ahead of time for not being able to "list" back atcha like I usually do over the last few Tuesdays...life has been crazy...good crazy, but still crazy.
These were funny...I am so glad you survived your plane trip! Can't wait to hear more of your adventures!

Sharon and Billy Blanks Jr. said...

I know you are out of town but I'd like your support. Please pass along my new post to every mommy blogger you are close to.Even though I'm not categorized as a mommy blogger because I blog with Billy,I know the moms will be just as passionate as I am about this. I hope you will post with me on Monday July 6,2009. Once again I am LOL at your travel posts!!!

cabin + cub said...

oh, i find it weird when people clap when the airplane lands... it's like assuming you might not have landed!
i don't clap when i get out of a taxi because it didn't crash. ..so weird.

jaimmatt52@aol.com said...

Aren't we in the 21st century???

Jaime said...

Ha Ha. It posted my email address instead of my name. I get so confused while trying to post comments on here. Here, try this...
Jaime W. said...
Aren't we in the 21st century???

This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

You crack me up!

Oh man, I am having flashes of what my upcoming plane ride is going to be like. lol

I sooo fell you on the public restroom thing. I wanted to cry when my daughter told me that she had to pee last time...but could that be because she wouldn't go by herself so I had to go with her...and drag her 2 year old brother along in the tiny bathroom because I didn't want to leave him alone in our seats. Ugh.

Glad you made it safely! :)

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