Thursday, April 29, 2010

Meat on a Stick is Under-rated...

I am SO SICK of dishes. I mean it!!! My threshold is GONE! *eating carpet fibers* I prepare at least 3 meals a day and thus I rarely see the bottom of my sink. *pulling out eyelashes* I run the dishwasher two times nearly everyday, and that's even with reusing/rinsing dishes that aren't that dirty! Dishes are a thorn in the side of my loungingness! *banging my head against the wall*

Everything goes on a plate, or in a bowl, and you use forks, spoons, knives, WASTE! WASTE! All that garbage you don't need filling your sink and ruining your life!!!!!

I don't want to endure. I can't endure! I gotta think of something else. I must stop this viscous cycle! *brain gears begging for grease to start turning*

STICKS! That's IT!!!

YES! I am serving all of our meat on sticks now! I'm just gonna jab it right from the pan I am cooking in and hand it to my family. Chicken on a stick, hamburgers impaled with sticks, fish sticks on sticks, steak on a stick, shrimp skewered on sticks. Spam on a stick. Yep...no plates, just balance your meal on a stick man...if it drops on the floor, consider that a great way to cut calories and feed the dog.

Potatoes? On a stick. Carrots? They ARE sticks! Apples? Stabbed. Grapes? Lined up on a stick, baby!

It gets better!

Cereal? Dip the stick in honey, dip the honey stick in the box. Done.

Pasta? Get two sticks, knit yourself a pasta scarf, mitten or sock. Fill the sock with sauce. Eat it.

Rice? Well HELLO! Chop sticks! (duh!) But wait...you have to eat the rice directly from the rice cooker or pot. Yeah.

Ice cream? You can buy it ON A STICK!

Popcorn? Pick it up with STICKS!

Soup? I haven't figured that one out yet, except to slurp it directly from the pot you cooked it in, with a straw, which is a stick...

My goal is to use one pan and one pot per day. And 50 million sticks. And then, I am gonna THROW THE BLASTED STICKS AWAY!!!!

As you can see this isn't entirely thought out, basically because I am completely and utterly delirious from doing so many dishes, but...I think I am on to something...

10 comments:

w said...

well. you could also tie this in to your activities. like. pud pud golf is done with a stick.

that's all i got.

Ian said...

LMAO I'm with you on that shit!

Much More Than Mommy said...

I bet you anything Kearsie could knit you a pasta scarf.

Kearsie said...

Man. Now I really want a corn dog.

MrsDixon said...

I want a pasta scarf! You could snack on it all day! What a perfect plan!

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

At the rate you eat carpet fibers I don't know how you are still hungry to have to eat a damn meal anyway?

Dee Crowe said...

omg how in the world did I miss this post? Anyway...rflmao..you rock..and now your my hero..love it..meat on a stick!

This is why I wanted kebobs all last summer...

Aries said...

Gosh, I never thought of that, I should go on "stick" too soon.

ModernMom said...

Soup....straws baby. Right out of that one pot! lol

SPEAKING FROM THE PEW said...

Pasta? Get two sticks, knit yourself a pasta scarf, mitten or sock. Fill the sock with sauce. Eat it.

that's my favorite part ever. this post is genius kim! sheer genius!

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