Friday, July 31, 2009

When It Comes to KFC Chicken Skin, I am a Vulture-Ninja

OK so maybe some of you know that I tend to sneak cake for breakfast when the opportunity arises, hiding it from my kids, because really chocolate cake goes best with coffee in the morning for several reasons, like feeling in total control of my life, like a rebel, and like I am gonna have a decent BM before 11 am. Now granted I don't do this often, as I am sure the kids would catch on and also I would no longer fit into my beloved PJ's. But nonetheless, eating chocolate cake in the mornings is one of my most favorite vices in life.

Now I must confess to another one. Fried chicken, KFC to be exact. Well, that's not entirely accurate. It's the chicken skin. Yes. You read that right, I have a sick obsession with eating KFC chicken skin.

Normally I would write out this whole play-by-play about how I have to hover over my kids like a dirty vulture and use ninja-like skills to steal the skin off my kids' KFC in order to eat it and satiate my need for ample amounts of crunchy, secretly-seasoned grease and fat. But, the problem is, no one else in the family wants it, likes it, or even cares. What fun is that? Hmmm...maybe I shouldn't be complaining....

People, I buy KFC just to eat the skin, and there is no challenging pursuit thrown in front of me to thwart me from my goal! At best I get from hubby, "are you gonna eat all that skin?" to which I say, "uh, yeah..." and then, I eat it.

See, everyone loves chocolate cake. And it makes sense that I have to sneak around, eating it in stealth mode, exerting my "because I can!" authority at 9 in the morning. But, who's gonna stop me from eating all that chicken skin, especially when the kids have no idea it's bad for you to eat copious amounts of fried chicken skin, 'cause I have failed to mention that to them? I mean, my kids eat great, they have fruit for snacks, they love their veggies, and can spout off what each vegetable does for you, and they actually stop eating when they are full, and don't like consuming a lot of sugar. I'm not lying here. I know, I have lied in the past, or at least stretched the truth, but I am so serious. They like being healthy, and I KNOW if I told them that eating only the skin was unhealthy, they would get on me about peeling it and eating it off of everyone's chicken.

I know this is a nasty habit and that it's bad for me. I know that years of only eating the skin on a weekly basis would be grounds for a quadruplazillion bipasses before age 50, and I know there is probably nothing less attractive than a mom salivating over a plate of mangled, fried chicken skin. But, that's me, and I am letting the whole world know. Please don't tell my kids. Locking myself in the bathroom and eating chicken skin while sitting on the toilet is even making me gag...




7 comments:

Kearsie said...

You had me at "BM".

And you can have my skin because I'd like to live past 50.

w said...

li'l tot: yo, j. you gonna gimme that chicken skin?

j: yeah. and can i have your lego? with just a pinch of salt?

li'l tot: and when you's gonna do them taxes?

j: um. i need to poop.

etc etc.

beef love chicken skin. variginal and edtra crispy.

(and yes. i just realized variginal looks like something else.)

Vickie said...

I love KFC chicken. The crispy is the best part!! Then give me the biscuits and I am a happy camper!!

I notice your comment survey. Sorry..once the kids got out for summer, I had to share my computer. Then we took a couple trips. My commenting has sucked all thru blogland. I feel like I am constantly catching up!

TheClayMuse said...

i'm so right there with you on tyhe KFC chicken skin thing...
It's the best part..... nom nom nom.....
*salivate*

Maniacal Mommy said...

You can have my skin too! I eat just enough to get the effect, but have to quit there. Now the biscuits? You better step back. Sadly, my oldest LOVES their biscuits with honey. I have watched that boy take the last biscuit and wondered if I would be a terrible mom if I snatched it from his hand and snarfed it down.

kristin ray said...

KFC chicken skin is so delish- I totally feel you on this. If we ever ate it together we might get in a fight over stealing each others skins. hehe

The Retired One said...

I used to be like you...and then one day, for some reason it repulsed me. Now I peel it off if I have to have the fried kind there. I was SO happy when they went back to grilled chicken there without all that stuff...I think it was my gallbladder that eventually protested, giving my going-to-vomit-if-you-eat-one-more-bite-of-deep-fried-skin signals!

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