Friday, January 2, 2009

Countin' to 5...

So, remember when Kate squeezed herself into that tree, in season one, when her and Jack became separated while desperately trying to escape the Black Smoke thingie that we STILL know nothing about? OK. Remember she was crying and freaked out and stuck in the tree and shaking and all of that? Maybe even whimpering? And suddenly she remembers Jack’s experience, with the angel hair pasta nerve bundle spilling out of his soon-to-be ex-wife's back? (I like how I am re-telling the story!) And to calm himself down, he counts to five and then becomes Super Neurosurgeon? Ummm…are you LOST???

Anyway…she counts to five and something “clicks” and she becomes the Kate we now know and find slightly annoying for being so wishy-washy about whom she is gonna play house with…

"Counting to five". I always hated the "counting to five"...that is, until I actually…did it…to my kids.

(maniacal laugh) Yes, I count to five! Well, usually, I only get to three. What’s strange about the whole counting thing is, I never told my kids what it meant, and I have never had to get to 5 for them to find out…For Kate it all changed for her at 5, for me, the behaviors change at 3…

We were at a park a couple of years ago, and the kids were bored of the playground equipment and decided it was time to run to “the hill”. This is a big hill just barely inside of screaming distance, and, down the other side, “the hill” is backed by tons of trees that at any time could be crawling with delinquent teenagers, people with angry dogs off their leashes, or even black bears (yes that is true).

So with that, they never ventured to “the hill” without parental supervision.

Counting to five came out on that day when they were with some of their buddies and decided it was time to run to the hill and ignore mommie’s protests of doing so. I called about two times to them to stop and come back, but to no avail. That’s when, in slow motion, I heard the horrible screams from my mouth…

OOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!
TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

It was obvious their little buddy had heard this before, as a look of terror swept across his face when he made an about-face, like a ricocheted bullet, flying back in my direction. My kids, totally confused, must have felt his sense of fear and some impending danger,as they quickly followed his pace, panting and freaked by the time they got to me.

“What mom! Why were you counting?” they gasped.

“Because you had until I got to FIVE to get back to me!” I declared.

“Or what, mom?”

OR ELSE!!”

They stood there before me, with a new sense of fear and confusion. The buddy, whom I assume was having morbid flashbacks, could barely control his shaking and whimpering.

I simply left it at “else” to make sure I didn’t start a comparison of the awful fate that awaits a child when the parent reaches five. Mystery often fosters obedience I have found…

That experience left me feeling, powerful. Yes. I am that annoying mom (that you want to choke at the park) who is counting to three more times than The Count on Sesame Street. Simply because, it works.

I had a friend tell me they do not use the counting technique because it does not require immediate obedience, which struck a chord with me. I was like, oooooooooh yeah, that is true. But, I can’t resist…it just, works so well…

I actually don’t think Kate has ever counted to five again since that “Black Smoke” encounter. If I were Jack I would tell her to pick Sawyer or him by the time he counts to five. I am glad I am not Kate…

ps something is still coming...

7 comments:

Cher said...

Just letting you know I wrote a review on your site on Link Referral. Thanks too (again) for posting my blog button!

Insanity Kim said...

Thanks Cher! I look forward to sharing with you! :)

melissa said...

i don't count. i tell my kids that if i get to one...there will have ramifications. it doesn't always work but...it works enough!!

Cassoulet Cafe said...

I had someone say the same thing about counting, but you know what? It works SO WELL for me. (I'm the one though that does it to 2 1/2....THREE!)
You're such a good writer, by the way. Love your stories!!!!

Insanity Kim said...

Melissa-that is niiiiiiiiiiice that you get good results before even counting! It's like, they have a split-second before their life is drastically altered...

CC- Yes, the 1/2 can come into play for minor infractions, or can be seen as the 1/2 right before the ONE for Melissa...as the gauntlet comes down...

I have been reading about your cockroach episodes and all I can say right now is ACK! I will comment once I can say something witty about my own phobia without running to the bathroom and my BP soaring through the roof! Breathe kim, breathe...

Cassoulet Cafe said...

My mom scared me with a fake roach the other day. My throat still hurts from the screaming I did.
Glad you're enjoying my cockroach episodes :) lol

w said...

i don't want to get lost. in the twilight or in the office.

i count. only because i've been out of school so long. it helps to refresh my memory.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin