Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Things I Love about Having Kids: Part II, The Girl

So you all know I have a beat-boxing ninja son, who can scramble eggs like no other (well maybe you didn't know that but now you do) and he is growing up way too fast. Well how incredibly blessed am I, getting to balance out all that boy fun with a little girl! Quiet, demure, frilly and dainty...just like a gladiator in a tutu!

So when Audge was cookin', I had some names picked out, Halena was one of the names. However, Audrey won out for this reason and this reason only, it means, "noble strength", and her middle name means, "warrior of the people". And let me tell you, she'll steal your heart, and then beat the crap out of you for fun. I am barely kidding.

Audge grew up around boys mostly, so she is a little girl that has some amazing talents. For example, she can burp the ABCs. This makes Jacob nauseated, especially at dinner time. She will hold ugly bugs, and attempt to kiss them, just like that cicada over there, yeah, the same one that impaled her hand with it's scary jabber/sucker thing. She can also take a foam sword and pummel you into submission, to the point you are crying and attempting to crawl away with your life dangling by a thread. Ask our lawn maintenance man. He made the mistake of stepping into a sword fight and we almost got evicted. OK not really, but he's scared of her now.

But she cracks me up. She has a creative fashion sense like I have never seen. For example, for about 2 years, she consistently wore her pajama pants on her head. With a crown on top. Any new PJ's she received went on her head, held on by a crown. Sometimes she would switch them out for underwear, like on a warm summer's day, but you would be hard-pressed to find her in the house without her pants on her head. Now that her hair is thicker she prefers little butterfly clips, thankfully.

She also has an infuriating ability to hide things in compartments I never knew existed, or were actually not compartments, like a hidden space in the toy castle, or the air vents. I have lost necklaces, books, fancy pens, and many other random objects, and I learned very quickly to check all the air vents first. Now that she is older, she just hides her own things, which to me is a form of cleaning. If she loses her purse, I tell her to look in her other purse and viola! There it is! A purse in a purse! Who knew? I knew, that's who. I have been trained well.

Probably her most disturbing habit is that she thinks it's practical to design a makeshift, yet stylish, collar and leash for her stuffed animals, and then hang them up on hooks or doorknobs to sleep. Because who doesn't want to hang by their neck to sleep? Glad I am not easily freaked out or anything. Um...

See I know I am in good hands, because I already have a ninja, and she wants to be an American Gladiator. Did I mention she once took out a nine-year-old boy? She saved Jacob from certain (or uncertain) doom. She was 5 years old. She took him out!!!

But I tell ya, she is gonna be a good mommy. She cannot wait to be 12 so she can babysit, and if you have even a hint of a sniffle or cough, she has a blanket on you, you are holding a stuffed animal, and she is getting you water and then rubbing your forehead.

She loves the stage, her drawing skills are incredibly awesome, she can make up some wicked hairstyles on the Barbie website, she wants her fingernails painted green and pink, she thinks Gollum is cute (no she hasn't seen the movies) and she wants to bake cookies for hard working people because that is a nice thing to do.

To sum up her personality, here is one of her favorite videos. She can say "Chaaarlie" like no other and hearing her sing, "put a banana in your ear" makes my day. It drives her brother insane. It is just so, so Audge.

I love my kids.


Cluttered Brain said...

Never heard of Charlie the unicorn before! LOL! So very funny! Thanks for sharing....

robin said...

oh audge. how i miss you! she reminds me of my libs. so "out of the box" great post kim! keep um comin'!!!!

p.s. liberty says that the animals like to sleep from door handles because they like the sensation of flying......just thought i would let you know.....erm.

w said...

you know i'm going to read this later. but first, a test comment just for you. beef.

w said...

also. i haven't read this yet. but your blog is awesome. and beautiful.

w said...

whoa. my first comment had a rooster as my avatar. my second had a taxi. i'm like a jack of all trades.

i just played barbie mariposa dress up. i made her pink. with pink hair. and a pink top. and pink skirt. and gave her pink wings.

you must immediately tell audge to stop kissing bugs. otherwise, the first boy she brings home may look just like the fly.

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