Sunday, May 30, 2010

Be My Friend. No Really, Be My Friend. Now.

A few days ago my hubby walked over to me and whispered in my ear, (which tickled a lot) "guess what Audge is looking up on Netflix right now?"

My mind swam with morbid possibilities "Pokemon?" I hoped.

"No. She looked up 'how to make a boy like you.'" He whispered again.

"Uh...wha?" I uttered, because I can think of great things to say when in shock.

"Well, not like a boyfriend or anything, she thinks one of her friends, who is a boy, doesn't really like her. You know who I mean."

After my spastic heart palpitations ceased and my blood pressure returned to normal I sighed, "oh yeah...ok...we can keep Netflix then."

See, most of her "boy" friends are now moving into the stage where girls are just plain icky/gross/yuck/life-threatening. Jacob has been generally traumatized for a while now, freaking out or freezing up in public when any girl other than his sister gets too close, like within 50 feet. The boy won't even read outloud for female characters in his chapter books. He would rather sit in time out on his bed. I know this from experience. He is totally 100% grossed out and repelled by anything girl. Except for Samus, the hero for Metroid. She's like Sarah Connor in space. Anyway...

Audge, however, adapts well to any situation and will not scream, puke, or ricochet off walls when near boys. This may be more common for girls, it was for me, but I am not really sure, generally speaking. She can be a pirate or a princess, or both, which makes for an interesting and complicated costume. She likes to play with guns and bugs and she would most definitely win a burping/tooting contest against any guy who has eaten his fill at a Tex-mex buffet.

So see, considering all of her awesome attributes, she just doesn't get why a certain "boy" friend doesn't want to be tethered to her the minute they are in the same room when he has other friends around. And of course when you have one or more boys together of that age, girls aren't only annoying, they are highly toxic alien life-forms who threaten to suck the fun out of their imaginary spy game by insisting everyone wear flowers on their wrists while searching for a lost kitten.

We tried to console her, and explain to her this short phase of life, and tried to give her advice. She wouldn't have any of it. So while driving in the car, going through our rigmarole on the topic, she had an epiphany.

"I am just gonna ask him if he likes me!" She declared.

"Noooooo honey that's never a good idea." I suggested.

"Why not? It's right to the point, and then she'll know. Case closed." Said my hubby.

"What? No way! *whispering* What if he says no?" I countered.

"Then she'll deal with it." He offered.

" is that supposed to work in social gatherings, especially since she is around him often? Talk about awkward! Besides look how upset she is just thinking about it!" I huffed.

"There's nothing wrong with being upfront and wanting to know the truth. No games." He said.

Psh. Men...

From there I gave her some pointers I thought would help when they were together, and explained that basically all boys at this age think girls are gross, even if they can play soccer really well and burp their ABC's, and to be happy with playing in group settings, and not expect the boy to just hang with her like a best friend.

She liked daddy's support of her decision better.

And I must say, kudos to the boy! She apparently squared off and point-blank asked him if he liked her (which really for him was a loaded question, because I found out later he has, or had, 10 girlfriends) and he told her that he did. He could have easily laughed or gagged or purposefully hurt her feelings, or he could have added her on as number 11, but, whatever the case, she is satisfied that they are friends and I guess that's the end of it.

Had she taken my advice this post might have been better. Or worse. That's what happens when kids don't come with manuals...


Misty said...

wow, that is hillarious. I agree with both you and your husband. It would of been interesting either way. lol.
take care.

The Retired One said...

I really like that boy...go ahead and pick out the wedding china and dress...its gonna work out in the future. ha

Creative Junkie said...

Oh, just you wait! Just you wait until that little girl of yours declares every single XY chromosome in her midst as HOT. And every single HOT XY chromosome WANTS to be in her midst. It's a whole different ball game then!

Enjoy this time while it lasts. I miss it. *sniff*

Aries said...

What an interesting story, eye opening actually. I am learning. Had not happen to me yet. Anyway I have 2 sons n no daughter. Wonder if they would ask me such advice when the time comes. Better prepare myself then.

w said...

i shouldn't even comment on this. and you know why. five.

anywhoo. of course she should've asked the boy! that man of yours gave good advice. even if he isn't as old as you. um. nothing.

heartaches aren't as dannygerous as they used to be. because in today's day and age, we can just move pudifectly forgetting ... idk what my point was. i just like that i used my words.

Stephanie said...

Oh I am just waiting for the day this happens to me! And seriously..just ask him? Your girl. She is Brilliant:) Would have saved me a lot of heartache when I was growing up!

Vanessa said...

Big Sister loves giving little letters to people, and recently she wrote a bunch of "I love you, ____" notes, including 2 boys at a social we were going to. They got them and proceeded to rip them up in front of her. I explained that no, it wasn't nice, but that they thought she meant 'love' in another way. I also said boys can be dumb. I hope I didn't offend their moms...

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