Sunday, November 2, 2008

Things Your Child May Miss Out On if You Decide to Homeschool...

Home schooling your child is a wonderful and rewarding challenge for any parent to consider and face. There are many arguments to both sides of the coin and issues to consider if you choose to home school, none of which I will explore here.

But, we can all agree that the elementary school years are an important part of the molding of and memories made by your child. By not being placed in an environment of one teacher to several children, they will miss out on some fundamental “peer learning” and joint “discovery”. Most of this “peer learning” and “discovery” will take place during craft time, when art tools and materials are abundant, leading with your imagination is encouraged, and the teacher isn’t front and center, eying every move being made. Therefore, you must make sure to simulate these particular milestones in any way you can. You never know when you may need to enroll your child into school and therefore potentially cause unintentional, yet serious, culture shock! Some of the activities I list here may appear hap-hazard and unnecessary, but, are worth considering...maybe you even remember activities such as:

-slathering glue on your hand, letting it dry and then peeling it off.

-stitching your palm shut with needle and thread (yes, I did this, AT SCHOOL!).

-opening and then bending a paperclip in order to make “braces”.

-creating a big ball with rubber cement, the “dangerous” glue.

-eating paper, crayons, or anything on the floor that you are “dared” to eat…

-drinking glue.

-stapling a finger or two.

-plugging up one of the toilets during group potty breaks.

-sticking beans in your ears and nose.

-pinching your nose shut with clothespins, or wearing them as earrings.

-puncturing yourself with a sharp object, such as a compass or sharp pencil.

-taping your eyes shut.

-drawing on any exposed part of the body with permanent marker.

-cutting your hair, or your friend’s hair, with scissors.

That list might seem ridiculous, and actually abusive outside of a classroom, monitored by a parent...of course there is plenty of trouble kids can get in to at home without these particular experiences, but, judge for yourself.

And recess! Let’s not forget recess! I have heard many schools are adopting the ideas of banning tag and really, really, tall metal slides, even dodge ball! So, these particular playground activities can be achieved by your homeschooled child, just as they are in the single, 20-minute recess jaunts most kids get. See that they get to:

-belong to a secret club, and then get kicked out of that secret club.

-chase the opposite sex, catch them, and then hit them.

-be shoved off of every piece of play ground equipment possible.

-fall off of every piece of play ground equipment possible.

-eat anything with 6 legs and wings.

-find an area with standing water to jump in until shoes and socks are soaked.

-run so hard they throw up on the cement because they ate too many tater tots at lunchtime.

If you can think of any more let me know…I am still working on getting my kids to sew their hands shut…

Yes, I am kidding!!!!


Pam said...

This is hysterical! Love it!

robin said...

how about lining up on the playground to play kickball and being the last kid picked. well, actually no one wanted me! both team captains got into a fight over who should take me because neither one of them wanted me. yeah home school!!!!

and by the way, i remember being quite fond of the taste of glue. the paste kind that came with the stick attached to the inside of the lid. i am considering puting it back in my spice cupboard. glue stick stew i can taste and smell it now. or maybe we could use it as the new up and coming condiment! that could help kids get their brocoli down! wooohooo glue!!!

Insanitykim said...


I did consider adding the dodge-ball scenarios, but left them out after hearing many schools are banning the game. I did however, forget to add acquiring lice at least once...that is like, such a milestone to achieve!

And YES! I remember that glue paste being, um...somewhat sweet...

Kearsie said...

What about: peeing your pants and the school nurse only has boy underwear which is like the mark of the devil to a first grade girl and having to wear said boy underwear ALL DAY LONG and live in the shame of wearing BOY UNDERWEAR...

And folks wonder why I have a twitch...

Insanitykim said...

Hmmmm...I did try to avoid adding experiences that might later require, so sorry...

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