Friday, November 7, 2008

Finding Binki

Ok…so some of you use them, some don’t. From the get-go I decided I would be in favor of the Binki, or pacifier as many call it. We all still have some sort of Binki in our lives as adults, think about it: chocolate, Facebook, our favorite PJ’s, scrap booking, coffee…something that just allows us to let out a content sigh once in a while. So, I figured, why not start my kids on their addiction as soon as they pop out of the womb! Oh uh, did I say addiction? Yeah, let’s use that word from now on…

At first it is a mutually beneficial addiction, baby is quiet, mom gets to go through the check out line at the store happy or even out for coffee with a friend! If you’re stuck on a long drive, Binki is there to help. If there is no food around for a while, Binki will ease the wait. If you're going somewhere that you KNOW is nasty, like the Doctor's office or the grocery store, and therefore don’t want your child to ingest any germs by sticking fingers in their mouths, Binki will be there to be the gatekeeper of health!

I say this because when you lose Binki, like around nap time, bed time (even worse) or on an outing (not as bad, but still painful) you will do ANYTHING to get baby his fix! Most truly addicted children will not be satisfied with anything else, except possibly food, but, as we all know, you really can’t stuff food into your kid's face ALL day and night! You know they will even forgo sleep for this thing…so you just gotta have it.

Binkis are like socks, you may have a million of them lying around, but when you need them, they are always no where in sight! And when our Binkis weren’t busy getting lost around the couch, we would find them nowhere near where the kids would be, like behind the TV. I think our Chihuahua would sneak off and hide them, retribution for no loner being the baby of the family.

Oh the nights I spent, down on hands and knees, perspiring, holding a flash light in one hand, looking through every crevice of furniture, while Jacob screamed, hoping to find one of the 30 Binkis we had purchased in the last week.

I would scold myself; why did we do this? Why did we go ahead and decide to get our kids addicted to something at this young age? I remember my poor husband, giving into my pleas and tired of listening to Jacob wail, trudging out into the snow at 9pm to buy new Binkis because we couldn’t find the one Jacob had just an hour before. An hour later he dragged himself into the house with…inferior Binkis! Not to his blame, Jacob’s favorites were not in stock on our side of town, and rather than spend half the night in stores that stay open past 11, this seemed good enough.

Well, of course it wasn’t. Jacob shoved the new plastic Nip of Love into his mouth, only to spit it out like he was expecting a fine Pino Noir and got a boxed blush instead. Crying, squirming and devastated, I got back on all fours and vowed I would dismantle my entire house until I found our son a Binki! Jacob was content to just watch me melt into a pile of sobbing goo…Josh thought I was crazy and it was time for Jacob to just let the thing go. I felt responsible, I felt guilty, but since I was nearing a zombie state, I decided that this night was NOT the night to break the Binki bond!

Usually I would finally find one just as I was about to give up, again in a weird place, like behind the TV, or in the toothpaste drawer, or one of Jacob’s puppets. Relieved I would wash it off and stick it right into my son’s mouth. He would go to sleep peacefully only to have it fall out 10 minutes later and sit by his head the whole night, only for it to start all over again the next day.

When it was time, and only a few precious and old Binkis were left, I took a friend’s advice and cut all the nips off every one of those things. That night I placed each one in an area he would be able to find them, one conspicuously in the middle of the living room floor. Upon hearing it was bed time, Jacob toddled over to pick up a Binki, only to have nothing to stick in his mouth. After a few failed attempts and whizzing through all the normal stages of grief, He looked at me strangely, “boken?” he said with big round, tearful eyes.

“Oh my, why, yes it is, Jacob!” I exclaimed in an Oscar-winning performance. He went around and found each one looking exactly like the first, garnering the same pitiful results. In his tiny hands he held all of his broken Binkis. It was time for mom to be strong.

“Well Jacob, they’re all broken.”

“Get more?” He pleaded

“Nope. They don’t make them anymore (a lie that bit me in the butt when Audrey came along) so, I guess you just have to throw them out and be a big boy now!” I squeaked, while Josh held his coat and keys in hand, hoping my friend’s suggestion was going to pay off.

He looked at them one more time, and walked over to the garbage, where he threw them out, all by himself.

Aside from a couple of nights of very light complaining, we never looked back. I was happy to have the Binkis out of my life for the time being, as I spent much less time on the floor, and Josh spent much less time at the store at night.


robin said...

"they don't make them anymore" !!! ha! LOL!!! that was hilarious and i can see how it came back to bite you! i used a binky with all of my kids and went thru the mental agony of "why did i do this?" some of the time, but in general it was and is a lifesaver if you ask me. way better than the thumb i say.... i cut the tip off katy's, libs spit hers out at 5 months and never wanted it again, and charlie still uses his to sleep. it will be an interesting day when i take his away.....shudder.

Insanitykim said...

Audrey took it a little harder; for about three nights she slept with her nip-less Binki, desperately trying to stick it in her mouth from time to time. Eventually she threw it was so sad!

StudiusMaximus said...

So, true it hurts. Although, we actually called it a "paci" short for pacifier. It was a love/hate relationship.

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